I was extremely excited, I stood in line wondering what was going to happen in the next 15 minutes, “am I going to die, there has been so many cases of someone falling off of a drop tower. Was I [a]going to be one of them?” I let my thoughts ask me. But even though that was one of the main worries almost stopping me from going onto it I was also excited, I always had some sort of a fear when it came to the drop tower but something about this gave me a rush of energy. I couldn't identify if that rush was a good or bad.

All of these thoughts going through my head made me forget that I was waiting in line, so in no time I saw that I was the next one to go. I watched the people strapped onto the elevated seats go up, and then drop down in about 6 seconds. It was weird because the rush of energy and thoughts were all gone at this point, I sort of just “ forgot “ about them. Until it was my turn to go on the monstrous, intimidating ride of course.

Then in that moment I felt like I was having a panic attack, well not necessarily an actual panic attack, but the ones that the youtuber TheGabbieShow talks about in her videos, too many things rushing through your mind, your heart racing, and the feeling of not being safe. Yeah that pretty much sums up all of her videos, “PANICK ATTACK IN PUBLIC GONE WRONG” or “having a panic attack over my hair cut“. [b][c]Things along the line of that.

At this point I was already up on the same elevated seats that the 25 year old looking mexican man was on before me. I waited a bit until the sound of the ride started up and I felt the ride lifting. And that's when I realized I really didn’t want to do this. I knew that I couldn't scream “STOP THE RIDE STOP THE RIDE” at the top of lungs because, well come on we all know that the operator didn't care. So I did what I always do when I'm scared, I closed my eyes and ears. Until I finally felt the ride come to a stop. “Is the ride over? I didn't even feel the drop” I said to myself even though I knew it wasn't over. Oh god oh god oh god. There I am sitting at the top of a huge 150 foot drop tower with my muscles so tense I could feel a cramp coming. I really couldn’t believe that I let myself hop onto that ride and say “let's do this!” with a smile on my face. My eyes were shut all the way because I couldn't stand to look at the dizzying view. But being myself I decided it was best to open my eyes and strictly look to open my eyes and see how my best friend Manuela was doing, her golden blonde hair was waving back in forth from the wind of Santa Clara.

She looked so excited to go down and i sat there wondering how that was possible. Her blue eyes totally hypnotized me to forget about the shock from being all the way on that drop tower, so I let my eyes slip. I swore to myself that i could see my tiny house in cupertino, california. All the way from Santa Clara!

That's when I knew I was probably going to actually die, like, for reals. A couple seconds passed by and whirrr, I hear a loud noise of mechanics and feel a small drop that made me immediately shift my chin forward. It was just stuck there and I couldn't move it back of how tense the lock in my jaw was. I didn't know why I locked my jaw forward, I guess it was instinct. Well, I thought it was over. Little did I know that was the trick drop. I let my eyes open up, with my chin still locked forward, and see all the beautiful colors in California, I saw trees, clouds, animals, tiny people across the park, and the big blue sky. Which was all taken away from me in a little between 2-3 seconds. Swooosh, my heart dropped in that very[d][e] moment.

That was the real drop, little 10 year old Liv was going down the 150 drop tower she feared since she saw it the first time at five years old.  With my chin locked forward and a strange feeling that my spine was splitting open and giving birth to a cow. Yeah thats right. A cow. Coming out of of my spine.

Almost a hundred different feelings were rushing through my entire body, but the most prominent feeling was pressure. Pressure everywhere. I couldn't move my body because of it. Not even my my tensed up, forward shifted jaw. I was very confused because during the ride, the drop felt like it was 2 minutes long but looking at the group of diverse people that went on before me made it look like so little time. I still until this day can’t fully identify what the feeling of going down the drop tower was, but I know it was unpleasant. Not that much painful, but definitely unpleasant. Finally when the ride was over I took a huge breath and eased my jaw of the tight clench it was in for forever.

I unbuckled my seat lock and stepped off the ride with uneasy noodle legs. I felt really dizzy and a strange feeling of “you're probably going to throw up Liv, brace yourself” came upon me. I walked out of the drop towers area and sat down for a  bit realizing what I had just felt.  Never doing that again. But it’s fine, it was all over and I thought to myself “that could’ve been worse” even though I was totally freaking the heck out on the outside. I walked around a bit, and moved onto the next ride. While walking to Tiki Twirl with Manuela and her mom I could hear Manuela mumbling some stuff about how fun the ride was, how she could see all the people across the park? I don’t know, I wasn't listening enough to even care. Even though I don't really remember how the conversation went, I still responded to her questions and stuff, something about “that was so fun” “do you want to go again?”.

Yet that I remembered, I said no to that. But the rest was kind of fuzzy in my head.