I would be lying if I said I have never wanted to be somebody else, but I would also be lying if I said I have never created an alter ego : Holli LaVue. Despite the eccentric last name, Holli was amazing. I mean I created her so she was everything I wasn't. I was reserved, she was outgoing. I was timid about doing things, but she was fearless about what she wanted. I tried so hard to incorporate Holli into my every day my life, but she never got further than my bedroom door. I guess I was so afraid of the world crushing her, that I kept her locked and hidden. By the time middle school started I saw less and less of Holli until one day she was just gone. I spent the rest of middle school miserable and forgotten. Then came the summer before high school, and I was determined to be different. But it loomed on me that I didn't know who to be. I mean Holli, was gone or so I thought.The first day of school, I walked into homeroom, worried. What if I turned this into another horrifying middle school experience? Then roll call came, and as usual I dreaded it because of my unique first name when the teacher asked me what book I was reading (The Devil Wears Prada) and instead of mumbling like I usually do, I said out loud the title with a huge smile. I didn't even recognize my voice, it was confident and strong. I coulove feel Holli stirring inside of me. I spent the rest of the day dominanting my classes and making new friends, not being afraid or embarrassed. When I got home, I could see Holli in my mirror, smiling the perfect smile. I realized Holli was waiting for me to embrace her, and had been waiting this whole time. Now I'm not sure if I'm all the Holli but I do know she's a big part in making me who I am and who I'm going to be.
My Alter Ego and Where She Went
September 26, 2016