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Bullying: The Deadly Life Changer

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I'm a victim of bullying. 

I've been subjected to countless threats, 'jokes', and violent attacks throughout the majority of my life. Shortly after I joined my secondary school, the bullying that I was dominated by had taken the turn for the worst - I became seriously depressed and I was even terrified to leave my house to make the journey to school, or even be at the place that I considered safe.

In my younger years, the bullying I experienced was just mere side remarks and empty remarks – but there are some events where I was abused to the point that I came home with bumps and bruises. In primary school, I got used to the threats and remarks because I was too scared to tell anyone as I had this fear of it getting worse if I asked for help. My friends would often chant to me that "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me", but there were times where I would go home in tears because what people had told me had deeply affected me. But when I started secondary school I had anticipated a fresh start, where I wasn't going to get bullied for my looks or for whatever other reason that I was bullied for. At first, it was only one person who would push me into doors on my way to lessons but then – gradually – more and more people seemed to join this person until there was roughly about four or so people who would attack me in the corridors, and even on the way home.

But there was one time, when I was twelve, that had gotten extremely bad.  

I was making my way home where I bumped into one of the girls who made my life a living hell at my school at my bus stop. She was with her friend, I was, unfortunately, alone. Upon seeing me, this girl sprung on me yelling threats at me until she came up close to my face spitting at me. She grabbed the back of my hair and slammed it into the nearest lamppost. And sadly for me, my attacker was getting the same bus home as me. I got onto the bus straight away and moved swiftly to the back of the bus where there were three adult women. Three stops before the terminus, the girl and her friend came to the back and started to attack me again - my main attacker kicked and punched me until I fell off of my seat and her friend recorded the entire ordeal. The women who I sat next to refused to do anything, but they only watched. They left me alone as they got off the bus and I started to make my own way home bleary-eyed and covered in red marks and scratches. Eventually one of the women came to me and asked if I was alright but I just nodded my head but, in fact, I wasn't.  

My mum emailed my school as she was outraged that I was attacked in this way, and my bully was kicked out of my school. But as soon as that email was sent I was terrified that something was going to happen. Thankfully, nothing did. But that fear remained with me for the best part of a year.  

Now that I'm not being bullied to the extent that I was when I first joined my secondary school, I'm suffering quite badly from mental health issues as a result of the violent attacks that I went through and from low self-esteem as I was – still am in some aspects – body shamed. My bullying may have ended, but it doesn’t mean that I'm still suffering from the ordeal that I was subjected to. Thanks to what a small group of people has done to me, I'm now anxious to go to places on my own, and I'm still deeply affected by some of the rude remarks that people still throw at me. Even now, my heart races whenever I think of the incident on the bus – it will be something that will stay with me for the rest of my life and I cannot do anything to change or avert it. If I spoke to a teacher at my secondary school when the bullying first began, I feel that things wouldn't have gotten so out of hand.  

Bullying has made my life a struggle at times, and I hate the fact that people still go through it – no matter how big or small the problem is, bullying will change a person's life drastically and their experiences will stay with them for, possibly, the rest of their lives.

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