Growing Up | Teen Ink

Growing Up

May 13, 2015
By upnep SILVER, Uttarkhand, Other
upnep SILVER, Uttarkhand, Other
5 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Her hair is a disaster, her lipstick is smudged and those clothes are so unlike the crisp tailored ones that surrounds us. She doesn’t don a smart blazer; neither does she wear the slick heels that all the other mothers prefer. She clearly stands out and as I see her staring at everything with confusion, I think that maybe she doesn’t belong here. Maybe I don’t belong here either. Private boarding school is just not for me. So what if I have gotten a great scholarship that I worked my butt off for? Or that she is trying to fulfill dreams she herself could never turn into reality? We don’t belong in this crowd, her and me. Just then, my mother turns her head and her warm brown eyes meet mine. It’s quite dramatic. It feels as if all the goodness of the world crashed down and landed on me. She looks at me with a smile that deepens the little crinkles around her eyes. It’s the smile that I had been taking for granted the past sixteen years of my life. It said that she loved me, that she would do everything to give me happiness. That smile was just the tiniest bit bitter sweet; the tinge of sadness made it even more beautiful. Her hair blows in the wind and as she lifts her hands to brush them, I find myself flooded by memories. Those were the hands that had brushed my nightmares away the same way she had brushed my hair off my face every time I felt scared or sad or angry. I can’t help remembering that those slightly knobby hands had massaged my head every time I was sick. Those hands were callused and yet possessed a gentleness I could never understand. Suddenly, I am overwhelmed by what leaving home actually means for me. I can’t help thinking that tomorrow she goes back home, leaving me with only my dreams and pangs of homesickness. Tomorrow, I’ll go to bed without telling her goodnight, instead I’ll whisper it to myself. Tomorrow I will take care of my own headaches. I panic. Maybe I should go home- stick to the familiar warmth. But then I look up and see that my mother’s smiling again. And this time her smile is different; sadder, deeper. Then I understand .It’s telling me goodbye.



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