I want to be laying with you while you hold me and run your fingers through my hair or trace them along my skin. Which would help me fall asleep which seems impossible now, as I swear and shift with the desire of finding comfort. Then, I would wake up still in your arms making me the happiest girl in the world.
But, instead, I will just cuddle the sweater you gave me all that time ago before I had any idea how suddenly and deeply I would fall in love with you. I will cuddle this red New York sweater in hopes that the thought of you gives me a sense of tranquility and comfort as it usually does.
Then, if I'm lucky enough, you will appear to me in my dreams just as you have many times before. You will appear as the loving, caring boyfriend I know you to be. I will no longer have this wretched fever and you will kiss my nose and my forehead and my cheeks and and my neck and my shoulders, showing me how much you admire all my features. When finally you kiss my lips, I will kiss you back and the entire world around us will seem to be gone or unnecessary of our attention. We will kiss with such love, desire, and gratitude that people will take notice and yearn for someone with whom they can share their love and have flourish even half as much as ours does. I'm hoping this will take place in my dreams because it is impossible to take place in real life currently, as you are all that distance away.
However, something similar, not lacking the magic, has already taken place in the course of my life.
I am so so so happy to express that even being only 15 our love has created this magic I speak of. Not magic to make desired things appear or make undesired things disappear but magic that causes my happiness to soar above anything I ever hoped it would.
Sometimes, I want to fast forward to when we are old enough to have the pleasure of sharing a home and supporting our household. This is only if fate grants me this wish of our love lasting so very long.
But still, I am very glad for the time I get to spend with you now and the fact that I have been given the pleasure of waking up in your arms once before.