Elsewhere | Teen Ink

Elsewhere

January 4, 2014
By Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl


The squish squash of the water bloated floor pad was the only sound in the empty hall that I walked down. Water ran between my toes and softened my bare feet. A shadow from my foot followed me on the pad only to disappear as the pad returned to it’s swollen state.

When I reached the first set of air lock doors my heart flutter with excitement like it always did when I came here. My hand wrapped around the cold metal handle and my body strained to open the doors. Familiar pressure filled my ears; experienced with this problem I jutted out my lower jaw then forced it wide open and the pressure released with a small pop.

The squish squash of the water logged floor pad became more frequent as my childish excitement hit its pinnacle. Then I came upon the second set of doors, the spinning ones, and I placed myself inside one of the sections and smiled when I felt the damp metal underneath my hands. My body strained once more as it pushed on the metal and spun into elsewhere.

In Elsewhere, I was hit with the pleasantly suffocating smell that smothered any person that entered Elsewhere. My mind took solace in this wonderfully musty, humid smell and it gave me a sense of nostalgia.

I looked at the white that encased Elsewhere in bubble and smiled. My eyes had longed to see Elsewhere just as much as my nose longed to smell it. Even my ears listened gleefully to the blatant raucous of elsewhere. People around me loudly enjoyed the main attraction of Elsewhere, the Great Blues. They moved around through the Blues, upsetting it greatly. TheBlues swayed back and forth and crashed against each other in big waves. Such a clamorous noise was music to my ears.

Once I dove into the Great Blues I was surrounded by a cool softness that my body was accustomed to. I sunk to the very bottom of the Blues and emptied my lungs and once the last bubble floated to the surface I shot up from the bottom and broke free from the Blues to refill my lungs. That’s when I began to move. I chopped through the Blues in the way I was taught; my feet kicked, my arms stroke, and my heart smiled.

Elsewhere was the only place I could call my home and the Great Blues were the only thing I could call my bed.


The author's comments:
Can you guess where I am? "Elsewhere" is a lap pool that I basically grew up in and the "Great Blues" are of course the water. So yeah that pool is my home and swimming is my passion.

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This article has 14 comments.


on Jan. 27 2014 at 6:32 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Thanks for reading!

Alycia. BRONZE said...
on Jan. 26 2014 at 9:39 pm
Alycia. BRONZE, Lower Gwynedd, Pennsylvania
4 articles 8 photos 41 comments

Favorite Quote:
“Our lives are not our own. We are bound to others, past and present, and by each crime and every kindness, we birth our future.” -- David Mitchell, Cloud Atlas

Great job using description and vocab to create the atmosphere of the piece! I love it!

on Jan. 17 2014 at 6:34 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Haha yeah totally. Thanks for reading!

on Jan. 17 2014 at 4:57 pm
Myvoice4change SILVER, Other, Other
9 articles 3 photos 167 comments

Favorite Quote:
"Everything will be ok in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end."

You used some good imagery here! You made me imagine swimming and what it must be like! That's something we start wishing we could do this time of year:)

on Jan. 16 2014 at 6:44 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

I see what you mean haha. Thanks for reading!

on Jan. 15 2014 at 6:12 pm
TopHatCactus BRONZE, League City, Texas
4 articles 1 photo 23 comments

Favorite Quote:
When writing a novel a writer should create living people; people not characters. A character is a caricature.
Ernest Hemingway

I too got the feeling of science fiction, which in this specific piece was a good fit. I love how Elsewhere is the character's home, but the word seemed over used in the last two paraghraphs (also the Great Blues). Other wise it's a unique story.

Zoe Davis GOLD said...
on Jan. 12 2014 at 10:45 pm
Zoe Davis GOLD, Chicago, Illinois
11 articles 13 photos 4 comments
Nice! This is awesome! I'm a swimmer too, so I can totally relate

on Jan. 12 2014 at 9:08 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Thanks a bunch for reading and for the feedback!

Honour SILVER said...
on Jan. 12 2014 at 11:27 am
Honour SILVER, New London, Connecticut
9 articles 0 photos 181 comments

Favorite Quote:
Greater love has no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. ~John 15:13

"Give me liberty or give me death!" ~Patrick Henry

Be brave and steadfast; have no fear or dread of them, for it is the Lord, your God, who marches with you; he will never fail you or forsake you. ~ Deuteronomy 31:6

"I prefer dangerous freedom over peaceful slavery" ~ Thomas Jefferson

This is really good and does a great job showing your passion.   I love to swim too, but I don't get to do it too much. :-P

on Jan. 12 2014 at 10:42 am
sunshine_dazeys GOLD, Brattleboro, Vermont
13 articles 0 photos 4 comments
I enjoyed the mystery of the piece-I didn't really know what it was about until the very end. If made me want to keep reading. My only criticisms would be to proofread more before you submit, and try not to use the same describing phrases more than once in a short piece. Other than that, it's a wonderful piece!

on Jan. 10 2014 at 8:29 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Thanks so much for reading!

on Jan. 9 2014 at 9:40 pm
RoyalCorona SILVER, Grand Rapids, Michigan
7 articles 0 photos 290 comments

Favorite Quote:
All of us fave failed to match our dream of perfection. I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. -William Faulkner

I quite liked this and could tell that you have a passion for swimming! That's great! I found that you incorporated your life into your story quite well and it made me smile! Great job!

on Jan. 8 2014 at 8:15 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Thanks so much for reading! I'm glad you liked it. 

on Jan. 8 2014 at 2:10 pm
Protoblues BRONZE, Albuquerque, New Mexico
1 article 0 photos 3 comments

Favorite Quote:
"You have enemies? Good. That means you've stood up for something, sometime in your life."
-Winston Churchill

That was a great piece! The writing style was reminiscent of science fiction, which I think enhanced the overall appeal of the piece. Also, the style made me look at the piece differently (with more acceptance and desire to read) than a straightforward style would have. All in all, it's a wonderful piece!