I Like/I Hate This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine.

December 20, 2013
I like boys. I like people who say bad things but don't mean them. I like drawing with my finger on velvet couches. I like how my legs feel when I wear shorts in bed. I like sticking my finger next to my nose and turning sideways so people think I'm a nose-picker. I like standing on chairs to see what it feels like to be seven feet tall. I like to put chopped almonds in my yogurt and pretend they're chocolate chips. I like sitting on beanbags and pretending I'm sinking into jello. I like standing in front of the mirror and drawing pictures on my reflection. I like writing fake newspapers that nobody ever reads. I like falling asleep on the sidewalk amidst my creative street-chalk drawings. I like eating anchovies and pretending I'm a shark. I like singing so badly that I think I'm good. I like it when boys wear sandals and knee-high socks because it makes them look like hospital candy girls. I like sticking my arm through the end of a Styrofoam cup so it looks like an Astro-Boy bracelet. I like farting in public and blaming it on my neighbor. I like the sound of people playing cards on a dull Sunday. I like going to church and pretending I'm a choir singer. I like scrubbing big metal pots with rough sponges so I feel like Cinderella. I like building forts in my living room and telling my mom it's summer camp. I like painting with glue. I like it when Carrie makes strangled noises with me. I like the way people talk when they're happy. I like pulling out my hair and sticking it under a microscope to see the split ends. I like paper that feels bumpy. I like trying to copy other people's handwriting. I like songs that don't have words. I like putting baby oil on the kitchen floor and trying to ice skate. I like commercials about carpets. I like the sound my shoulder makes when it pops out. I like cooking things that might smell funny. I like practicing cradles and basket tosses on my bed. I like talking to myself while I'm in the bathroom. I like computers that have cameras. I like when nobody has any idea what I'm talking about.

I hate my face. I hate girls who stick out their bums and have big egos. I hate when the only way a boy can see a girl is through a camera. I hate exams. I hate Silly Putty. I hate hurting myself. I hate when the bus leaves and I have to chase after it. I hate when people change their voices when they're saying something important. I hate when people cry and I can't help. I hate movies that have Hugh Jackman in them. I hate when I'm drawing in pen and I mess up so I have to start all over again. I hate watching scary airplane movies before I go on a plane. I hate the sound of car engines. I hate myself. I hate short pencils. I hate the feeling of jeans on my legs when they are damp from the shower. I hate skiing socks that have itchy stuff inside them. I hate eating mushrooms because it feels like I'm eating intestines or something. I hate feeling like someone's watching me. I hate people who purposefully try not to understand. I hate Starbursts because they taste like candle wax. I hate not knowing how to light a fire with a gas lighter. I hate typing something and then forgetting my next line. I hate when people sing a song that I thought only I knew. I hate raisins that look like boogers. I hate chewing gum. I hate people who think they're the Queen of India or something. I hate art that makes too much sense. I hate art that doesn't make any sense. I hate printers that can't connect to my computer. I hate pens that run out of ink too fast. I hate when I'm doing homework and a good movie comes on but I really want to get my homework done. I hate when I forget to use the restroom before class. I hate nights with no end. I hate things that make me admit I'm human.

This work has been published in the Teen Ink monthly print magazine. This piece has been published in Teen Ink’s monthly print magazine.

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