Why It's Better to Keep to Yourself Sometimes | Teen Ink

Why It's Better to Keep to Yourself Sometimes

October 17, 2013
By veckatimest BRONZE, Solon, Ohio
veckatimest BRONZE, Solon, Ohio
3 articles 0 photos 0 comments

When I was about 8 or 9, I stayed at the farm of my aunt and uncle for a week during the summer. I don't have any really bad memories from that trip at all. Actually, let me rephrase that: I only have one bad memory from that trip. No, it wasn't almost crashing my aunt's boat when we went out fishing. That was funny in retrospect. There was something else on the fishing trip that I really regret having to live with.

We were out fishing for catfish, and after several prime fish and an unlucky stingray, I happened to pull up a younger fish that was rather scrawny. My aunt was not amused.

“See, we can't keep this. This is the type of catfish that n*****s eat.”

“Right.”

Having to agree with her put a knot in my gut. Living in a racially diverse neighborhood, I was never really exposed to bitter slurs like that on a regular basis, so this was a shock. A couple of questions floated in my mind for the next several minutes. Why couldn't she have said something else? Why did she still use that, when she worked with African-Americans on a daily basis? Why, why, why?

The why's were floating around in my head, but I didn't dare let them come out. You don't question your elders in the South, land of “yes ma'am”, “yes sir”, “please” and “thank you”. I was raised to be that way from the very start. That's why I agreed. I didn't know any better. According to my younger self's logic, if I said anything against her, I would receive at least one of the following: a stern talking-to by her, a stern talking-to by her husband, a stern talking-to by my parents, or a stern talking-to from a belt. That's why I agreed.

Ever since then, I've told this story to friends whenever the situation presented itself. It seemed almost like a tall tale, a hyperbole. It still seems like it now. However, even when my friends laugh while gawking at what I have told them – and I join them – I'm still somber on the inside. The fact that racism like that still exists, even now, is sickening. Living in the Deep South for most of my life, I assumed that it was just a fact of life. However, after living in Ohio for some time, the contrast between the opinions of the two sides of this country is almost absurd, and that's a shame. There's almost no way I would run into a situation like that fishing trip, here in Cleveland. However, on the off chance that antiquated racism like that appears, I'm armed with knowledge and a strong will.


The author's comments:
Wanting to submit this to the Stop the Hate essay contest at some point. Sorry for the offensive word but from a writer's perspective using it holds a LOT more power than censoring it out, much like profanity vs. censored profanity.

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