Finding Your light | Teen Ink

Finding Your light

June 9, 2013
By Cgundrop4 BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
Cgundrop4 BRONZE, Franklin, Wisconsin
1 article 0 photos 2 comments

Favorite Quote:
"A friend is someone who knows all about you, and still love you."


The clock starts to tick, and your mind starts to look back. You start to hear the voices of the past and the images from the years behind. The clock starts to tick, and you realize what happened then, made who you are today. Middle School, the two years that change everyone, emotionally and physically. Middle School shapes you into a mold for a minute, and then breaks you in a second. Tears down your cheek, worn out keyboards, raspy voices, puffy eyes, twisted stomachs. The mixed up words of Middle School. Is it worth it? Two years of your life cause this much pain. But also so much happiness. Middle School breaks you, which makes you. Here’s my story....

White covered floors and walls, rusty lockers lined up which stretches across the wide hallways. Faded lunch, sweat, and paint in the air. As I walk through the dull halls and the clashing people, I notice this school is going to change me. Weeks moaned on, and my real friends disappeared in my classes, not showing. Letting me be surrounded by these brute people, covering half of their faces just to fit in. Months grew, and I started to become like them. Tan colored liquid covering my face, rosy cheeks, consecutive hair, glossy lips, long eyelashes. Self consciousness grew inside me, from people’s lips moving. Spitting out words that grew inside me. I started to believe them, “why would you wear that?” “you’re too caked” “no one likes you” “your hair, get real” Roaming in my head, growing briskly, the words got bleaker. Tears grew, days got longer and nights got shorter. Forcing myself to get up, and hear the words that grew more harsher. These brutes were everywhere, I couldn’t escape, my friends were far away into their own lives. And I was stuck with them, my face started to get fiercer, more tears stretched across my face. I couldn't take this. That day came, like it snowed in August. The words I said flew out like spit, “I’m done. Stop it. Stop making me not come to school. Stop being mean.” But, those words didn't express it’s meaning to them, it expanded them. More words came to me, it was worse. But I finally knew that could only make me stronger. I started to stand tall, and block out the words that were covering their own problems. The last days were here, I was stronger than I was in the beginning. The pain made me stronger, and made me who I was going to become.

Sun shining against the walls, makes the dull color turn into shiny white crystals. I enter the school for the second year, gratefully having the brutes disappear in the August snowcaps. My friends got out of the shadows and entered in my life once again. The second year switched from tears to laughs, hurtful words into loving sentences. Everything flowed into perfect fit. Or at least I thought. How can you hurt the most important person in your life? Just because of a guy. Unwanted love grew in my life, how could I deal with a guy falling for me, if my best friend loved him? Stress found it’s way inside, crawling and mocking me to every inch of my body. I yelled and cursed at him, nothing happened. It just grew. Decisions started coming and the motion of her moving on. I thought it was over, but it was just the beginning. January grew colder, and so did my heart. The truth exploded from my body, frustration bursted. The hurt grew inside me, and the only thing I knew, was to hurt. I started to hurt the most important people, because that’s the only thing I knew. Months passed on, and the weather got colder. Spring didn’t sprout, and the days got longer. Longer nights and days came on to me, I couldn’t handle the pain, looking at the slowness of time shocked me like a wave. I thought it was better, but lightning struck.

They say that true friends will always be next to you through everything... not always. Then this sentence collapsed onto me: “You got your wish, we’re not friends anymore” Tears started to come, more than I ever had, my body started to shake harder and harder. People’s eyes were swmoracing all over the place, looking at me. Thinking I was bizarre. Thinking I was messed up, and couldn’t control myself. I finally wiped away my tears and said words, that meant, that mattered. I took all the emotion out of me, and gave it to her. However, my actions couldn’t come out, because I wasn’t even let in. Then a miracle happened.

After a few days, I didn’t see anything, I thought my swore was healed, everything she said vanished like a rain cloud. Though every swore leaves a scar. The scar finally showed, continuously fading her out. Leaving her in the midst of dusk. I’m left with a scar, a scar that shows me a whole new world. I let go of the comments, the yelling, the cursing, the bring me down, I let go of everything I had to do for her. I suddenly was out of the cave, and I reflected off the water. Seeing who I really was, and letting go of the people who brought me down.
Middle School defines you, you enter looking for light. Trying to fit in, and trying to not become an outsider. You find yourself bumping into walls, traveling the wrong way, and letting the walls enclose you. But you have to let go, at the end of Middle School, you find yourself. You let go of all the people who were changing you, you find your light.


The author's comments:
I'm finally happy, because I finally found myself.

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