Beautiful Tragedy | Teen Ink

Beautiful Tragedy

May 5, 2013
By Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl


Quietly, I would watch them. Watch their feet floating across the ground. Her black dress flowing perfectly around her. She would squeal joyously as he held her close, feet leading expertly.

Quietly, I would dream. That that was me. A man with his arms around me. A beautiful black dress flying behind me like smoke. Music playing and singing softly to it as I placed my head on his shoulder. His gentle, strong hands around my waist. My arms wrapped around his neck.

Every night they would go out. Every night I would watch them. Their hot breaths puffing like smoke, in the cold air. But then one night they didn’t come out. Instead the man left. By himself. As he got into the car the girl ran outside after him. As he drove away she fell to her knees shaking, but not from the cold of the night.

Now she goes outside alone. In the same dress. Playing the same slow song. She floats across the ground. Now, in sadness. She no longer squeals with joy and her man no longer holds her close. She moves with no direction. No hope. But beautifully slow. A beautiful tragedy. She shakes as she moves in time to the beat, singing softly. Her voice is different. It’s drenched in hopeless abandon and hurt.

Quietly, I watch her. Quietly, I dream. Of a man to hold her close again. Of her joyous squeal to fill the night air again. Of her voice to be filled with happiness and hope. Of her to shake, from only the cold.


The author's comments:
I write a lot of vignettes about things that I saw or happened to me as a child.

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This article has 4 comments.


on Sep. 15 2013 at 1:37 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Thank you so much!  

on Sep. 14 2013 at 9:56 am
love.writing BRONZE, St. Clair Shores, Michigan
4 articles 0 photos 37 comments
I love your writing!  I don't think I have disliked anything you've written so far.  :)

on Jul. 24 2013 at 12:20 pm
Carly_Elizabeth PLATINUM, Othello, Washington
39 articles 0 photos 131 comments

Favorite Quote:
"And above all, watch with glittering eyes the whole world around you because the greatest secrets are always hidden in the most unlikely places. Those who don't believe in magic will never find it."
Roald Dahl

Thank you so much! That really means a lot. I'm really glad you read it and enjoyed it. 

on Jul. 23 2013 at 3:37 pm
WriteOrWrong BRONZE, Grosse Pointe, Michigan
3 articles 0 photos 105 comments

Favorite Quote:
Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it. -Maura Stuard

Now, this is just gorgeous! I love beautifully sad things! A few things I would rephrase such as 'That that was me,' 'breaths' should just be breath, 'and hurt' sounds misplaced. 'Of her to shake, from only the cold.' THAT LAST LINE! I am shaking my head because it is such a great end to the story, it fits perfectly. A beautiful piece. I feel it could be stronger if it was made to sound a bit sultrier and more glamorous so the reader also wants to be that girl but honestly even if you just left it the way it is, the piece is truly marvelous. You have a rare talent, make sure to nurture it.