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Don't trust me.

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Sometimes I don't know what to think, after all I was raised to respect my elders; my teachers, my family and most of all, my parents. I respect them. But why won't they respect me? Is it that I'm only a teenager? What is it about me that says, no, screams and stomps "DON'T TRUST ME!"?
After all, what have I ever done to make myself untrustwrothy? sure, I get bad grades, I'm not that smart, not everybody can be a straight A student. But why can't I go to a friends house? Why can't I go right across the street?
Is there something wrong with me that I was never told of? Why can't you give me a proper reason? I mean I do everything you want me to do. You say don't date, and I won't date anyone. You say don't sneak out, and I won't. What have I ever done to make you want to keep me at home so I can sit and read and grow fat and unhealthy in this ugly little house? Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE to read. You know me, I read all the time. I have more books than I do friends. But did you know that children that go out and meet more people and go more places are almost always healthier than children who don't. You know, children like me. Children who sit at home and don't get to go out and be healthy. Children who have parents like you. Did you know that there is no such thing as a bad child, only bad parents? My brother is proof enough of that. (Sorry bro, but you know I'm right) Why is it so hard for you da, to think that I don't want to grow up to be the crazy cat lady? Or the insane hermit down the street? Dad, I love you. But I need my space. I need my life, to actually be MY LIFE. Just because you raised me doesnt mean you can be the one ruler of my life. I am the one breathing MY lungs. I am the one trying to live MY life. So why is it so hard for you to just support me? If it was called abuse for you to never let me leave the house, I would be living with a foster family. Don't get me wrong dad, I love you, but at the same time, I hate you. Whenever I try to say something you brush me and will even shout. Because of this I'm living in fear of you, if I push too far would you hit me? That is the question I have to face everytime I so much as look at you. When your own daughter lives in fear of you, thats when you know that your parenting style sucks.I hate you Dad.

I just wish that I could stop loving you.



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