No year goes by without me having a dream of my dad, even though I don’t know him. My mom told me that when she was pregnant with me she would always fight with my dad over little things, because he was a lawyer.
Last night my dream seemed so real, I remember seeing my mom and dad fighting. I felt that every time I would get close they would whisper so I wouldn’t hear anything. I kept asking myself, why?
In my dream I was telling my dad, “Mommy’s saying things she don’t mean, she don’t know what she’s talking about.” Dragging my feet across the floor, trying to hold him back, pleading with him, “Don’t leave! I’ll do anything to keep you right here with me, can’t you see how much I need you, and you mean the world to me? Daddy I’ll clean my room, I’ll try harder in school, I’ll be good, I promise you father!”
Every time I have the dream about my dad and my mom fighting I wake up screaming and crying saying, “Father don’t leave me, I need you.”
The next morning I’m wishing to have my dad, and wondering why my daddy left me. What did I do to not deserve anything from him? All I wanted was his love and to be a normal girl that has her daddy all the time, and be happy. I want my dad to see me growing up.
Eighteen years have passed by and I always dream about my dad. I don t know who he is and he is always fighting with my mom. I try to get close to him, but never get to see his face, and I wish I could know if I look like him.
Every year that goes by I wonder if he remembers my birthday. Does he think about me like I think about him? I wanted to have his love, and to be his little angel. I know I could have done better things with my life if he would have been with me.
My mom showed me her love and I know I’m special to her and for that I don’t need my dad with me, even though I wish I had and things could have been different. Whatever had happened I understand my mom, and for my mom I’m still here moving forward. I’m trying to stop thinking about him because he hasn’t looked for me and I don’t think he ever will.
Having this dream about my dad helped me that I don’t have to keep myself down that no matter what had happen before I need to keep looking forward. Not having him he made me learn that I don’t need his love. My mom is the one who suffered, she was a single mother and I appreciate her for that.