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Forgotten Daughter

Dear Dad,

I’m fourteen years old now. I turn fifteen in January. I wasn’t sure if you knew my birthday since you weren’t around for any one of them. You probably won’t be around. That's okay though. I am used to the feeling now. Things are going great in school. I play basketball. Volleyball session ended already, and after basketball I play softball. You would know if you were actually around… but you’re not. Why didn’t you tell my sisters about me? Why did you pick them over me? You chose to stay Emilee instead of my mom. Why? Was I not good enough for you? I love my sisters with my whole heart. All three of us tried to figure out why you did this to us. We came up with nothing. Kylee is eight months younger than me. That would mean that you were cheating on my mom. Why did you do it? You have three daughters and you aren’t in any of our lives. Yeah, sure, you see them, but it’s surely not the same as when you were still married to their mom. You messed things up with her too. You pushed them away, especially Kylee. She doesn’t know how to trust anymore. Her whole life was a secret kept by you. A secret that could have helped her and been there for her. A secret that she could have opened up and told everything to, me. I’m her older sister and I never got a chance to play that role because of you. You did this to all of us. The first day that Kylee and I met, you could have parked the car, gotten out, and talked to me. Instead, you called my phone looking where to pick Kylee up, drove by, and had her jump in the car. I didn’t even get a simple hello from you. What about at the party? The party that Anninka found out that I existed at. You were supposed to be there. Where were you? I can tell you were you weren’t. You blew me off completely. I had a great time, by the way. Annika and I put on our glasses and let our hair out of our ponytails. I saw myself in her. Her blond hair is just like mine and our freckles around our nose and eyes are the same. You weren’t there to tuck me into bed when I was little. I needed you and you weren’t there. You left my mom to do it on her own. You weren’t there when I looked back. You weren’t there when I had nightmares or when I needed a dad to put me on his shoulders. You were there for Kylee, but never me. You blocked me from Kylee’s life when we were younger. Not just hers, but yours too. You stopped sending pictures; you never called or wrote and you never tried to come see me. I was the child that you, “didn’t have.” I grew up without you in my life, and just because I told Kylee the truth doesn’t mean that you’re forgiven. You changed my life. You don’t even message me on facebook anymore. When you decide you want to talk, don’t try to talk about boys with me because I’m not interested in telling you all about my boyfriend. I also don’t want to hear you’re pity-me-I’m-sorry-for-leaving speech. Save it for someone who actually believes you care. You stayed out of my life for fourteen years; you can stay out of it for the rest of my life. It shouldn’t be that hard for you since disappearing is what you’re good at. I would know. Have a great life with your new girlfriend. I don’t want any more siblings, just to let you know. They shouldn’t have to be brought into this mess you created. I hope you make things right with Kylee and Annika because any chance of you being my dad is completely gone.

Love,
Your Forgotten Daughter



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