The Pill | Teen Ink

The Pill

August 31, 2012
By Anonymous

I was in my kitchen constantly looking over to the stairs for any signs of my mom coming to the kitchen. Yes my life changing moment was in my kitchen. The drug, the drug that changed my life, was in my hand, an orange pill with a puma printed on the pill. I knew what the pill was, ecstasy “no doubt about in my mind” I said to myself. I thought about taking the drug for a second and all the bad things about drugs people told me rushed through my head like how drugs ruin lives and how drugs get people addicted. “There just lies to scare kids away from drugs”, I thought to myself. The thought of taking the pill was tempting and without thinking I filled cup with water. “What if I get caught?” I thought to myself but my head came up with a solution to that, and my solution was to lie. “I thought the pill was Tylenol.” I would say to my parents if they found out. I wanted to do it, to feel the rush, to feel the feeling people make music about. As quickly as possible I put the drug in my mouth and took a gulp of water. The pill went down my throat. For some reason I thought the swallowing would be dramatic, but swallowing the drug was like swallowing any other pill. “Why’d I do that?” I thought to myself, I regretted my decision.

I walked up the stairs to my room and sat on my bed and started to watch television hoping nothing would happen. After around twenty minutes I was ecstatic, I wasn’t feeling anything different. I was sure I was home free but then I realized I was washing my hands in the sink in my room. “When did I ever get up?” I thought to myself. Then the thought hit me, the side effects started. I rushed to my bed and lay down and tried to go to sleep hoping I could sleep the effects off. When I tried to close my eyes I kept opening and my eyes shot around in circles unintentionally. “Great” I said sarcastically to myself. I started to do things without really thinking about doing them but yet I knew what was going to do when I started. The feeling was as if I was in someone else’s body and all I could do is watch. I raced down the stairs past my mom’s room, she asked me what I was doing and I said “going to drink water.” But it seemed like she didn’t understand me, so I shrugged my shoulders and kept going. I got a cup of water with a lot of ice and drank the water as fast as I could for some reason. I guess my body was thirsty. Then I had this strange urge to dance. So I walked downstairs and started to dance, well not really dancing more like throwing my arms around wildly. Me dancing drove my dog wild. He started to jump around the couch as I danced, we must have looked hysterical. After a solid hour of random movements in my living room I stopped to the sound of something scratching the door. I was beginning to hallucinate, I felt as if lions or cheetahs were scratching the door trying to get in to kill me. I froze what could I do against big cats? I panicked and grabbed the phone. I called a friend to tell him that I need help, as fast as I could I told him that lions where trying to kill me but he just replied with a “what?” I tried explaining again but he couldn’t understand. I hung up the phone furiously. He was my friend for years and yet he couldn’t save me from the lions at my door. What a disappointment. Out of ideas I ran upstairs to safety and halfway up I heard the door open, I froze. My dad and brother were finally home. “For sure they’d find out” I thought to myself. I sprinted up the rest of the stairs and to my room. I heard my mom yelling at me but I didn’t acknowledge her. I laid down and closed my eyes thinking my brother would be able to tell by the look in my eyes. My eyes shot around even when my eyelids were closed. My brother came into the room and asked me if I wanted half of his subway but I refused the sandwich and said I wasn’t hungry. My brother told me to turn around so I did. He took a close look at my eyes as I forced them to stop moving. He took a quick look at my eyes and said “to down.” Confused I turned my face into the pillow trying to avoid any more confrontations. Then I thought I heard my parents talking and picked up part of their conversation. “He’s got the eyes of a drug user.” I heard my mom say. I was terrified. I’m not sure if what I was hearing was paranoia setting in or what they were saying was the real deal. I closed my eyes tighter and held them closed for another hour until I finally dozed off.

I woke up the next day to my mom shaking my shoulder. I froze she did find out and was going to talk to me about what I did, and that’s the last thing I wanted to do, to talk about what I did. “Wake up or you’re going to be late for school.” I was relieved. Later that day I found out that I was mumbling to my friend I called so that’s why he couldn’t understand me. He asked me what was wrong but I just told him the call was an accident and we left it at that. The day after was surprisingly normal, nothing changed. I was still unsure if my brother knew so from that day on I’ve always avoided mentioning ecstasy when talking to my brother. I would dread the day he asked me about it but it still hasn’t happened. Now I think about what happened when I took the drug 2 years ago and learned how stupid my choice was. I know it may sound cheesy when I say drugs changed my life, but it’s true, I’ve now vowed to be straight edge. And I now view life differently, I try to live like if every day is my last day because I know, that when I die the world will keep spinning. So I try to have fun every day.



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