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A Girl's Journey to Self Confidence

Ever since I was little I always felt like I had to prove something to my parents, family, friends, and the world. My parents divorced when I was a small child. My dad never really supported any thing I’ve ever done. He always told me to never get my hopes up. My mom would support me, but not without mocking me about it. Let’s just say, I had quite a bit of self confidence issues when I was younger. My issues with self confidence also had to do with how I felt about my appearance; I had glasses, braces, I was tall for my age, and I wasn’t as skinny as all the other girls. And most of all, I was shy. And when I say I was shy, I mean most of my teachers had no idea I could talk.

Now a day’s I’m quite different than my childhood. I got contacts, my teeth are “perfect,” the other girls now are about the same height as I am, I’m a healthy size now, and teachers now know I can talk. Most of all I have more confidence in myself. Though where I am today took a lot of work. A lot of lessons were learned along the way.

When I began junior high, my mom got a job in a new city about thirty minutes away from where we lived. She would be working as the girl’s gym teacher at a junior high, my mom decided to enroll me at that junior high. I was enrolled in all Honors courses, which for some isn’t a big deal, but for me it was. You see, I have a learning disorder that makes it harder for me to comprehend math, science, and words. Think of it as almost dyslexia, but not quite. My teachers were so amazing. They were unlike any teachers I had had before. They actually wanted to work with me about my learning disorder; they didn’t want to just shove me in another class room for another teacher to worry about. And what was also something a teacher hadn’t done for me before, they all made sure that no one had to know about my disorder. So none of the new, and few, friends I had made needed to know about it. Of course, now all of my friends know about it because I’m not ashamed of it.

In the past years I not only went through academic changes, I went through physical changes. Just like most girl’s bodies do, my body began taking shape and changing. I realized that all of the chubbiness I had when I was little was because my body hadn’t matured yet. I lost all of the weight, but don’t get me wrong, I’m not super model thin, but I’m not as chubby as I once was. I soon lost the glasses and got contacts and the braces came off, which probably is a confidence booster to almost any teenager. But now I have confidence in the way I look.

Now on to the part of me proving something to the world. I realized that I need more than just good grades to get colleges and universities to notice me. I play the flute, but I felt like I needed more to make myself stand out. So at the end of my sophomore year of high school, I auditioned for drum major or my marching band. Guess what, I beat out several seniors for the only position. Many people thought I couldn’t do it, but I did. Now, I didn’t do it just to show people I could do it, I did it for the love of my band. But showing people I could do it is a plus. I now hope to make it into the All Star Invitational Marching Band. However, I still feel like I’m a boring person; all I do is band. Therefore, I had to figure out something else to make myself a more rounded individual. So I’m planning to do community service projects. Like raise money for St. Jude’s Research Hospital, volunteer at my local children’s home, and raise awareness for music education budgets. Still, lots of kids do community service; of course I have to do something else, something that takes a lot of guts to do. So, I am now a contestant in pageants. Yes, you heard me, beauty pageants. Though, the type of pageants I am doing are called “scholarship pageants.” These pageants are more centered around community service, academics, pubic speaking, and well rounded individuals. The title winners of these pageants can get bonds for scholarships to schools of their choice. I am currently trying to get into Miss Louisiana Teen Princess, Miss America’s National Teen Louisiana, and Miss Louisiana Pure American Girl. Many people who know I am now doing pageants are, well, quite frankly, shocked. Many people think pageants are superficial, but I’m not doing it for the beauty and dressing up. I am doing it for scholarships. And that’s how I am, who I am today.




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