Look At Me.

June 7, 2012
By , Eufaula, AL
Look at her. She's a beautiful baby, filled with laughter and love. She trusts the world she sees through those big brown eyes. Her need for adventure never ends; her desire for danger increasing. But, fights break out; she only wants to make them smile and see the good that she does.
Look at her. She's a child, losing her love with every shout, every tear, every unwanted touch. She wants someone to help, but no one will listen.
Look at her. She's finding the world with tear-stained eyes. She's sleeping in her closet, as the nightmares creep in through cracks. She's lonely, they've all shut her out. She sneaks around the corner just in time to see the glass fly and the bottles go up. She's scared, she's angry, she feels guilty. She hides her thoughts and forgets her faith; she only wants to feel whole again.
Look at her. She's a teenager of a split home; daughter of a mother with ambitions for death, a father who will never see the good in her. Sister to a frightening tyrant who seeks her out as a release for his anger. She sinks her sorrows in parties and boys; she knows nothing more than highs or pain. She's cruel, and holds no trust for the world she sees through those hard brown eyes. She cries in her sleep as flashbacks attack. She's lost her love, her life; she's lost herself entirely. She only wants a distraction from her pain.
Look at her. She's a woman, standing tall and strong. She's spent many sleepless nights in tears and agony over things of the past, and now the day has come for her to put away those things and hold on for the future. She packs a suitcase, and begins to walk out of her home. Just as she's about to leave forever, her eyes caught a picture, of a beautiful baby girl, with soft brown eyes. She picks the picture up turns to lay it in front of the woman crying on the couch. She closes her eyes and says softly,
"She will be happy. You chose not to help, to not even register my pain. Your chances are gone to help with her happiness. You're my mother, and for that I will always love you, but I refuse to let you keep me in the rut."
She turns just as one last tear falls from her face, picks up the suitcase, and walks out of her home.
It's the only place she has ever known, and she fears a life of the unknown, but her fear of living with what she knows is greater, and she will take her chances, if it means finally getting what she wants, getting back what she started with in this world, what she secretly longed for all those nights; happiness.





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