mom or dad?

May 29, 2012
By Anonymous

Mom? Dad? How would you choose between the two people that raised you your whole life? Stay in a place where you knew everything and everyone? Or move to a new place and get a whole new experience? This was the decision I had to make, and I didn't get much time to do so.
It begins when I was in 7th grade when my parents separated. My dad still lived at home since he was at the firehouse half the time anyways and it was the best thing for the family. Then in 8th grade my dad moved out but still would come home often. I still remember the day I found out he had truly moved out. I came home from school and it looked like there was stuff missing. My sister was up in our room and my brothers were outside like nothing was going on. My sister was the only one of us that knew, since she was the oldest. I walked up the stairs to our room and when I opened the door I saw my sister laying in her bed facing the other way, this seemed strange to me. “Ali, what’s wrong?” I asked her. When she turned around to answer there were tears streaming down her face, I knew then what was going on. Her crying made me start to cry and she ran from her bed to where I was in the doorway and hugged me and told me everything would be okay. “Nothing will change.” Is what she told me. I didn’t know if I could believe that. We sat in our room and talked about it for awhile and it helped a lot. We all knew it was coming; the reality of it was hard though. My parents never decided who my 3 siblings and I would live with, it was just thought to be and we went with it, to live with our mom. I loved my mom but I didn’t like where we were.
In the beginning of this year, junior year, my dad saw I was having a hard time and suggested I go live with him. At first my mom hated the idea of it but then she said it could be a good idea if I really wanted to do it. At first I thought of course I want to! But then after thinking about it, I had second thoughts about it.
On one hand I had the choice to live with my mom, how could I leave her? How could I leave my siblings? Or the house I’ve lived my whole life in? I’d be leaving a lot behind, and my life would be so different. I wouldn’t have my little brother there after school to hangout with, or my sister to have talks with every night. I would even miss having my dog run up to me and jumping on me every time I walked in the door. I know I would only be 20 minutes away, yet, it would be so different. But staying at home with my mom meant nothing would change, something I didn't like. I wanted to get out of Park Ridge and Maine south; I have for awhile now. I always think back to the summer going into the freshman year. My friend and I were riding our bikes around Park Ridge thinking about how high school would be and even then I didn’t want to go to Maine south. We didn’t like the idea that we would know most of the kids there, even though usually it’s the other way around. I liked the idea of going somewhere new. We thought of all the schools we could go to but we knew our parents would never let us go to a different school. We knew we had to just deal with it and try to make the best of it. But now I was going through a pretty bad time where I didn't have too many close friends, I had just lost my group, and nothing seemed to be going right. I never actually thought I’d have the option to go somewhere new, but now that I did I really had a choice to make.
On the other hand I could go live with my dad in Arlington Heights, which is only 20 minutes away. This would mean going to a new school, I loved the idea of that. New people, new start, what could be better for me at the time? I love going to new places and meeting new people but there was a chance that I wouldn't meet anyone in Arlington. I think of what it could be like…I could start all over. I could see myself joining the cheerleading team and meeting all those girls and hanging out with them and meeting more and more people. Then on the first day I would know a lot of people and the year would be great, but that’s just me foreshadowing what I hope would happen.
In the end I choose to stay here because I had some friends here, cheerleading, and it would just be hard to get up and leave my junior year of high school. In some ways I’m glad I stayed here because things have gotten a lot better, but I also wish I could have seen how it would have been if I did move. But that’s how life is, there are choices and you never know how the other one would’ve turned out.

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