I'm dancing in the rain that's pouring in the realm of my dreams. Soaked to the bone. Chilled to the soul. Clothes clinging to me like needy little hands, weighing me down like I've eaten a meal for two. Stumbling, I'm dragging my feet to the west. The sands stretch to the Land of the Rising Sun. Behind me are skies tinted orange and purple, with clouds of crimson red, ethereal in their insanity. Iniquities humble the corners of my mind, and deep down inside, I feel a monster waiting to be. My imaginative heart of gold refuses to turn to coal. A transmutation that I won't let take hold. I've worked long, hard, and alone on the construction of the solid foundation that holds my ethics in place. I'm constantly renovating on the interior designs, because I know that it's not the outside the counts. Floral patterns that anyone can perceive, threaten to hold attention and divert any contrived supervision. What people don't realize is that I haven't built my inner mechanisms by popular demand. Self-realization is the Purdy style. Torrential downfall, awash in a faint, green glow dive bombs towards my self-constructed paradise, only to be repelled by the constantly ever-watchful eyes of my stone guardians. Droplets of acid spray strenuously attempt to writhe their way in through the holes. Unnerving are their trials, because diligence is no where near perfect. Never knowing when to leave my conceived world has closed doors to greater dimensions, though I left in time to get my foot in the shrinking portal of a paradise that I'm carefully being escorted through. Slowly gaining trust just to see through barrier after barrier. Realizing that this place has been plagued by diseases that I've only heard of. I broke free of the guide to taste a sweet elixir of her ambrosia, only to become addicted, and then deprived of such a wonderful, insanity-inducing drug. Walls have been erected due to a terrifying sense of unease. I've been pushed back to the edge of this world, with a hope to show that I have control of my desires. I can only dream of the style that her interior decorator draws upon. Spying on her tower from across a vast distance. I stand outside this impenetrable wall with guards flanking me on either side. Armor covering them from head to toe, with weapons that hold promise of a viscous bite. Begging them to take me to their leader, so I can show her what I'm made of. So she can see that this isn't quite as dangerous or pointless as she thinks. Oh, queen, heed my cries! Accept my humblest apologies, and grant me just one wish. I wish for you to extend your hand to me one more time. Let me show you that I can be the friend that you've always dreamed of. I'll listen when you speak, I'll talk when you need, and I'll safeguard your darkest secrets and your most terrible nightmares. I'll push you to be the person that you want to be. I'll show you a world that you've only considered before. This is all that I can do, but if it puts a smile on your face, then I'll be glad to stand by your side in a fantasy of our own creation. With cherry blossoms spinning out of control, and Easter lilies floating on a cool, shallow ponds. Violet lilacs and blue bonnets worshipping the breeze as it kisses our exposed skin and runs its phantom fingers through our hair. No passion instigated. Nothing more than our friendship. This more than I could ask for, even if it's not all that I want. This connection makes me happier than I normally am, and knowing that I'm not alone gives me a comfort and waves of content that morphine could never provide. Walk with me with our hands by our sides atop clouds outlined in silver. No tethers to hold us in this space. No impregnable bars to keep us in place. As free as eagles. As pure as crows. Living lives that we attempt to adhere to our desires. What more could we want? We more could we need? We have the devices, our gear-cog minds. We have the fuel, our scarred hearts. We have the means of travel, our slightly numb legs. Nothing is holding us back but ourselves. We can only move forward after we break free from our terrific fears.
Dream Within a Dream
May 24, 2012