loneliness kills

May 21, 2012
By , Rochester, NY
Do you know how it feels to lose everything you have? I’m not referring to your money, clothes, or property. I’m talking about the family you thought loved you. The friends you thought would help you out and stick with you. Even your mother you thought would do anything for you like she does for others.

You better pray you never get that feeling. You better wish this doesn’t happen to you. Because when it does, it kills you inside. So far this is where my life is at. You might look at me and think I am happy as I can be, but your wrong. That feeling already killed me inside.

I’ve lost all the people I thought I would have in my life for ever. The people I thought I could turn to when I had good news, bad news, or needed help. I lost all the people I would kill for. Sometimes I still think I would do anything for them.

Five of the most important people were my own family. I would of never expected my own family to leave me at a time like this. Even after all I did for them. One was my uncle, my mom’s brother. He was like my dad. I didn’t see my dad or even talk to him before. So my uncle would treat me as his daughter. He lived with us. My mom threw him out on the street so many times. And every single one of those times I convinced her to let him back in. we got in so many fights over him. And he still turned his back on me.

I remember exactly how it happened. He still tries to deny it. The last time my mom beat my ass he was there. She was crazy that night. She had me all over the room, leaving marks everywhere. I remember hearing my brother and sisters running in the hallway, yelling and crying. My uncle came and shut the door. Next I remember being on the floor, her on top. I was choking. My uncle came in again and told her to get off of me. She told him to get out, she kept saying she was going to kill me. I was convinced he was going to save me.

I kept hanging in there. I had faith he was going to rescue me. He left with the kids. He was going to let her kill me. He says I’m lying. I know what I saw, I know what happened.

I got lucky things happened the way they did though. I’m still here today. Even though sometimes I feel like it would have been better if I just died that night. After everything that happened, I was depressed thinking I lost my uncle I loved so much. Imagine finding out I lost all the ones I loved not even a day later.

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