May 15, 2012
More by this author
If you’ve ever listened in on a group of teenage girls talking, I’m sure you’ve heard the typical gossip and drama. I’m sure you’ve heard girls talk badly about their "good friends" and start unnecessary rumors about one another when they’re mad.

However, I'm not like that.

I’m not your usual teenage girl who will call someone my friend and then when she leaves the room talk about what a b**** she is. I’m not the type of girl to call someone my best friend then go start rumors about her sleeping around when I get mad at her. I’m not the type of girl to sit by silently and listen to people talk badly about people I care about or join in on the ridicule. I’m also not the type of girl to share my judgments on someone if the only thing I know about her is that I don’t like the way she dresses.

If I consider someone my friend, you can guarantee I will treat her exactly how I expect her to treat me.

However, I wasn’t always like this. A few years ago I was the type of girl to gang up on people. I was the type of girl to talk badly about my friends if they annoyed me, and I was the type of girl to engage in unnecessary drama.

It wasn’t until a few years back when karma hit me hard that I realized that wasn’t the way I wanted my friends to look at me. I wanted my friends to trust me, not to be afraid of getting on my bad side.

I used to be best friends with this girl, Rebecca; she was absolutely hilarious and was always able to make me laugh. I confided in her with everything. She would listen to me complain about people that got on my nerves just as I would her.

I never once had anything bad to say about her.

It wasn’t until a good year after we’ve been so close that I realized she wasn’t being as good of a friend to me as I thought she had been.

At the time, I was also extremely close to my friend Steph – She had told me Rebecca had been telling people I was stuck up, and that people shouldn’t trust me; she even told Steph I talked badly about her constantly.

At the time, it confused me; I didn’t remember ever saying anything badly about Steph. When Steph told me everything Rebecca had told her, however, I was infuriated.

Everything I supposedly had said about Steph was exactly what Rebecca would say to me about her.

After that, I was done with Rebecca— I wasn’t going to be friends with a girl who was trying to get all my friends to turn against me—
Especially when she was telling them I was saying things that never came out of my mouth, but hers.
It didn’t take long for me to move on from my friendship with Rebecca. I began spending my time with two other girls; Claire and Janet. We were in a tight group; our boyfriends were all best friends as well so it was easy for us all to hangout.

It was great, I was the happiest I could be, and the girls were easy to gain my trust.

However, after a few months I started to pull away from a lot of my friends, since the girls made it clear they didn’t like when I spent my time with other people.

Towards the end of our friendship, the girls went behind my back to completely sabotage my relationship with my boyfriend.

Our boyfriends were going away for the weekend, and we were meeting up with them to say goodbye. The girls’ had called me and said they wanted to have a girls’ day after and to wear a skirt and Ugg boots so we’d all match.

However, when I got to the house, they were both in jeans; when I had asked them why they weren’t wearing the same outfit as me, they had told me they got cold. I didn’t really think anything of it.

After we said goodbye to our boyfriends, we started going on a walk.

A car had driven by and whistled at us; trying to be tough, I turned around and flipped them off.

When we had gotten back to Claire’s house we were just sitting around when out of nowhere Janet asked, “If I cheated on Mike, would you tell him?”

Claire shook her head and said, “Obviously not! If I cheated on my boyfriend would you tell him?”

Janet replied with the same answer.

So out of curiosity and to keep the conversation going, I asked, “If I cheated on Ian, would you tell him?”

They both were quick to reply they wouldn’t.
Nothing out of the ordinary, right?

Well, that’s what I thought until my boyfriend came back absolutely enraged and screaming at me. He told me the two girls told him everything I did while he was gone and that he was done with me.

I was so confused. I had no idea what he was talking about.

So he told me.

He told me that they had told him that all weekend, as soon as he left, I was dressing like a s***, that when we were walking and a car whistled at us, I turned around and blew it a kiss. They even said that I was planning to cheat on Ian and that I had asked them if they would tell him or not.

My heart had completely dropped.

I felt so betrayed and heartbroken.

Little did I know this was all a conniving plot to try and break Ian and me up because Janet decided she liked him instead of her own boyfriend.

After that I was done, I dropped them as friends completely.

I started hanging out more with my friend Katie; she had always been there for me through everything. She was also the one person my old group hated that I hung around with.

However, rumors began getting around from the two girls saying I was completely different now, that I was completely out of control, and that I was ruining my life. They were telling people I needed help and had to get my life together, that they were “worried” about me.

It was all a lie, just another plot to try and get under my skin.

They even approached Katie with lies about what a bad friend I was; they tried to even push Katie to say bad stuff about me.

However, Katie was a true friend to me. She called them out on their lies and told them it wasn’t me who needed the help, it was them. She told them they were liars and clearly had some type of mental issues.

It was the first time I’ve ever had a friend that stuck up for me.

It wasn’t until about a month or two after ending my friendship with the two girls, I started talking to Claire again.
She had been the one out of the two girls I had been closer to.

I had called her to talk when I found out Janet had done the same thing to Claire and her boyfriend. She had apologized for helping the other girl plot against me, and I forgave her.

Katie was skeptical about why it was so easy for me to forgive Claire, but I knew what it felt like to be brought down by my friends. I knew what it felt like to be manipulated into doing mean things to other people.

She had originally been a good friend to me up until we started becoming friends Janet. I do believe in some cases people do deserve a second chance, that’s why I forgave her.
Claire wasn’t manipulative or truly conniving like Janet; I honestly believe she like many other girls my age simply got caught up in the rush of the drama, or, simply the need for Janet’s approval.

Although I was friends with Claire again, Katie still remained my best friend.
But, becoming close with Katie was hard; it was hard for me to trust her especially after everything I’ve been through. It was difficult for me to not to have a guard up around Katie, for me to believe that she actually wouldn’t talk badly about me or have some ridiculous plot against me.

To this day, Katie is still my best friend and the one person I trust.

From my experiences, my whole outlook on friendship has changed. I don’t believe in talking badly about people I call my “friends” and I don’t engage in unnecessary drama with other people.

The few things my friends will say about me now are how I’m always honest and loyal to my friends. I’ve had countless amounts of people tell me I’m genuinely just a nice person and how hard it is to find someone like that these days. I also have had people tell me they respect me for the simple fact that they never hear me talking badly about people, especially my friends, or how quick I am to stand up for my friends if I hear anyone talking badly about them.

Honestly, I couldn’t be happier when people say this to me; it makes me feel proud of myself. It felt good to know people valued my friendship and noticed I wasn’t two-faced or a liar.

It made my changes to the way I treated my friends worth it.

To say all girls are two-faced to their friends is not true; to say all girls are drama obsessed is also not true. I believe in staying loyal to my friends—I believe in the true meaning of friendship.

Post a Comment

Be the first to comment on this article!

Site Feedback