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The life I try to hide

The young girl opens her eyes and meets the bright sun shining in her window. As she stretches her stiff muscles she realizes that the air is tense that something has happen. She walks to her parent’s room and realizes her father isn’t there, that he must have slept in the room across the hall. He’s been doing this more frequently as the fighting has progressed. Once again the day is cool and the world seems bright; at least to everyone else. She closes the door and reaches for the book sitting in the table next to her mother’s chair; she always seems to be reading. “Samantha” the young girls father says. She responds as always and makes her way to the door, “I love you.” Her father says trying to hide the hideousness of the fight that took place. Normally she would say the same but today she just doesn’t care so she walks out and closes the door behind her.
Fresh air always helps her think but today it doesn’t help at all, all she can think about is how she is going to hide her fear, anger, and sadness as she face her friends once again. She’d never let her emotions show she’d never had anyone to trust enough to tell them to, every feeling was stored inside her and she didn’t know how long she could hold them in. The day progressed seedily but slowly. Finally she can be herself in the one class where she feels like herself. The reason for this is sitting next to her, him. The one person that seems different then everyone else, the one that doesn’t care about what other people think. He says what he thinks, does what he feels like doing, and laughs at what he thinks if funny not what other people laugh at. As she begins to look up to see the problem on the board their eyes meet, he smiles at her and she smiles back.
She knows she cant like him he has a girl friend, but when ever she hears his name she smiles and when her phone rings she hopes its him. Pacing back and forth she try’s to figure out what to do, but she just can’t do it. Just then he mother walks in the room, she quickly sits at her desk pretending to do homework as always. “How was school?” Her mother asks like she always had. “Fine” she said, the way she always responded. Her Parents never were involved in her school life she had two completely different life’s one at home and one at school, it had always been like that. After her mom left she realized she had more important things to worry about than “him”.
Once again she must fall asleep to the sound of anger, the sound of rage, the sound that terrifies her, fighting. All parents bicker its natural but she knows this isn’t natural, to fight this much isn’t normal. “Why should I turn off the light, I want to read my book.” Yells her mother. “Well I want to go to sleep!” Her father retorts. If they could only just get along, so that they could all live as the perfect family everyone thinks she has.
The sound of fighting always gave her a strange feeling that she didn’t normally get. The sounds of her father’s angry tone mixed with her mother’s harsh voices made her always want to hide and cry alone. Her parents had always expected her to be the best; they didn’t force her they just assumed, so when ever the fighting resumed she continued to keep back her tears just as she had done so many times. She wasn’t able to hide, all she could do was hold back her tears and try to block out the sound. Because of all the practice she had the ability to block out noise want knew to her.
Many times her parents had asked why her friends don’t come over more often. She normally gave them the excuse that she wasn’t a people person or that she liked to spend time alone, but the reason was much bigger then that. Every time one of her friends comes over she is terrified that they will see her real family and realize that it’s not perfect.





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