I feel alone, empty, abandoned, lost. Am i really that strange that no one likes me? why do i have these feelings? what can i do to fix them? should i just suffer through it? suffer through it like i have for months? sometI'mes i wonder would anyone car if i just disappeared? if i just faded into the wind, who would notice? does anyone care? I'm told family will always be there, but i can't tell them anything. id get picked on, teased, annoyed,maybe even all of the above. i cant shake the feeling of nothingness. I'm alone. for now, or forever is what i want to know.i feel as if i should cry. but i don't feel its the right tI'me. if i cry now i show my hidden feelings and get questioned. id rather just sit in silence with my true friends. not the fake ones! i want the fake ones to go away! tell me the truth and quit being dramatic! are you a true friend? right now some people may call me over dramatic, and that maybe true; but i will never show them my pain. i know i must fake happiness and hide my sorrow. there are people out there, somewhere, who are in worse situations then me. there are people being abused, people homeless, people with out parents, people trying to figure out where their next meal is coming from, people with less then me. i should be grateful, and i am, yet i just cant be happy. my depression comes from bullies, friends, family, everyday people. so think before you act. the next person you pick on, or bully could be going through what i am. knowing this will not be ending soon; i will put a fake smile on my face, as i always do, and continue with my life.
April 20, 2012