What I Can't Tell You

March 8, 2012
How many times with I make the wrong decision? How many wrong decisions can I make before he leaves? How many times will I beat myself up over things I’ve done and things he’s said? He says he loves me and I know he means it, but does he mean it the way that I do? Or does he say it lightly.
My heart still aches from previous rejection, and fear of him rejecting me is always on my mind. I try being a good girlfriend; I try to be what he expects of me. Yet somehow I always fall short or do the wrong thing. My self-esteem is low and my confidence is none, but I can’t explain that to him.
Every night it seems that him and I grow more distrusting of each other. We can even talk about important thing is person, only in text. Can’t he see my heart is aching with pain of losing him? Can’t he see I’m trying to be what he expects me to be? Can’t he see I love him more then I can say?
Please tell me you love me in person, take me hand whenever you can, protect me when I’m scared or frightened, but please don’t make me feel this heartache. Show me that you love me, tell me how you want me to show my love.
I don’t want to make these mistakes anymore, and have u trust me even less. Please help me understand.

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