It took to long for me to realize how much I actually needed you after you had already gone. My heart bleeds for you. I see you walking with her and it feels as though I am dying. This gash that I have put in my heart for turning my back on you, will never heal. I loved you, I loved you all along. It was a mistake to let you go, but now you’re far away and you’ve been far away for far too long. This life is so complicated. It hurts to deep, for me to stand. I sit with him, but it I’s not the same. We had so much, how could I let that go so easily? How can I justify that what I did was right? I know it is too late to turn back, but one can only hope that this pain will subside and become easier to handle in the future. Thinking of you causes me the pain that is never-ending. I think everything is alright and I finally have the strength to let go of what I feel for you. Then I see you and realize that everything is not alright, I don’t believe it ever could be. I need to come to my senses about what is really going on and I need to face the fact that you will never be mine again. All I keep wishing for is to be wrapped in your arms again, to feel loved by you. I now realize that all my assumptions that I had about you were wrong. I lead myself to believe that you were wrong for me that you only wanted one thing. The love I have for him feels all wrong. I want it to feel right so I can move on from, me and you. I do not understand why, I have such feelings for you. I love you to more comparisons. I would do anything to have you back. You say I should give this love I have for you to him, I’ve tried many, many times with no success. They say that the first love is always the hardest to let go. I have begun to believe that what they say is true.
February 22, 2012