February 18, 2012
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I knew this day would come, the day when you would know everything, you would know exactly how I felt, exactly who I wanted. . .You would know. I however did not know, that it would hurt this much. . .I expected your blatant rejection and necessary ignorance. . .I did not ever think that once you knew every exact detail of my love for you that it would bring my so much pain and sorrow.

. . .Never. Never again shall I love anyone. Not after you, not after how you made me feel. . . Lonely. Empty. Dreadful. . .The tribulation and anguish you endowed my with! I certainly cannot help buy hate you, Can I? Is it my fault you are perfect in every way? Is it my fault that you make me want to stay? No. No. No. . .But it is my fault that I let myself fall in love, with you, the impossibility, the one I could never have. I knew you could never love me, from the minute I laid my eyes on you I knew you would never feel the same way. Yet I still indulged in vivid fantasies of you and me together, forever, inseparable. . .I never knew it could hurt so bad when I decided to look back at reality, step away from the fantasy, and look at you, and have a weeping realization that it was just a fantasy.

You are not worth all my struggle and trepidation, solely because you were a lost cause from the beginning of time. . .Why were you ever brought into my life? What real purpose did you serve other than to wickedly slash my emotions into tiny pieces with your sword of ignorance. The emotions, the tattered, beaten, bruised remains of my affection are those of which no one can comprehend. It would be easier if you were not here, not with me in this life, if our paths had never crossed. . . Both of our lives would be better. . . Only if. . . But our paths did cross, and I am forced to live on. . . I am genuinely sorry.

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