Love was once beautiful. The one real treasure hidden somewhere for you to find, but now it is just a dream, that lay shattered on the mossy forest floor. The sky was once blue and bright but now it it is dark with gloom, for love left this place long ago. Along with you. Your colonge lingers in my nose, though you passed years before. The bracelet you made me is now on my wrist, old and shaggy but still holding the memories of days spent together by the lake when you told me of a treasure that held pain, beauty, and sometimes meaninglessness. I didn't know what you were talking about then, but now I do. I remember when you'd leave an orange from the tree in your yard in my locker or would tell me about how beautiful life was. I remember when you would listen to my every word and never look away from my eyes. I didn't get the message, but now I do. I remember when you would stay awake to watch me sleep and hold my hand for no reason, when you acted on impulse and feelings. I remember some, but the question is, do you? I sometimes forget how great it felt to have you next to me, to feel your beating heart. I forget the times when you cared, but I will never forget that you loved me. You never told me you did, but you always got it across in someway. How could I not see it? I hate myself more and more everyday for forgetting the little things I did with you, like sharing cottoncandy at the fair. I wish I could have said goodbye, felt your lips on mine. That would never happen though because i didn't understand. My throat is constantly aching, though not as much as my heart. We had a connection and I wasn't sure what it was. Now I get it. It was love. Love is hate and sorrow. Beauty and life. Sin and prayer. You.
January 30, 2012