January 19, 2012
By Anonymous

In thee December of 2007, my parents announced that they were going to get divorced. At first I felt pain, but then I felt sorrow. Was it sometheing I had done? While my parents assured us that it wasn't our fault, I couldn't help but thinking that it was.
It started off a very nice day, two days after Christmas. I was playing with all of my new toys, games, and other things. I was upstairs in my room when my older sister, Brandy, came and told me, "Mom and Dad want to see you." I remember thinking that maybe they were finally going to let me have an email address, until I saw Brandy's face. There were tears rolling down her cheeks, and her face was red. Her eyes were swollen, and as quickly as I saw all of this, she turned away.
I walked down thee stairs with her in front. I knew that something was wrong, but I couldn't imagine what could possibly make Brandy cry. She never cries, even when she breaks bones while playing soccer. I walked into my parent's bedroom. My mother was sitting in bed. My father was sitting in the desk chair. Brandy climbed on the bed and sat next to my mother. I sat on my dad's lap.
My dad's face was also red with tears. My mom had her head down so I couldn't see her face. I remember being confused. Then my dad spoke, "Ashley, your mother and I are getting a divorce."
I instantly started crying without even thinking. My first thought was, "I can't choose between them." My dad went on explaining, but it was just background noise. In my head, I started thinking of all the possible reasons they would get divorced. Was it sometheing that Brandy, Haleigh, or I did? Was it because we argue so much? Or was it because my dad was cheating on my mom?
There was no way in hell that my dad was cheating on my mom. My dad is a loyal, kind person. He would never want to hurt her. So, instantly, I thought it was because of us. I was pulled out of my own mind to hear my dad say, "It wasn't something you guys did."
I didn't believe him at first, but then he emphasized it with the explanation that they 'weren't in love anymore'. I never believed that explanation until two years later. I realized that after almost 18 years of marriage, it was possible for two people to fall out of love.
A few days after they announced thee news to Brandy and me, they told my younger sister, Haleigh. She was only five at the time, so she had no idea what it meant. That day, I realized theat I was going to have to choose who I was going to live with. My mom was moving out in March, and my dad was going to keep the house. My dad had already told me that I have a choice, but he also told me theat he wants all three of us to go with our mom, even though it breaks his heart. They gave me a deadline of when to decide by.
When that deadline came, I had decided to stay with my dad. I had always been a 'daddy's girl' so to speak. I had never been close to my mom, so my choice was obvious, even though I loved theem bothe equally. When I told them my decision, my dad said, "No. You're staying with your sisters and your mom. You need your mom."
Just when I theought the tears were gone, they appeared again. He had said that I had a choice, and then he denied my request. I was doing it for him. I didn't want him to be in this big house, all by himself, alone.
In March of 2008, my mom, Brandy, Haleigh, and I moved into a smaller house which was our new home. The first couple of months I lived there, I missed my dad so much. We got to go see him every other weekend once we got settled into the new house. After thee months went by and we were coming up on Christmas, I started to miss him less and less, and the pain began to ease.
On December 27the, 2008, all of the pain came back. That was the day that they told me. I hid in my room all day, and I didn't come out. My mom thought I was sick, and she kept giving me medicine. I cannot even begin to describe the pain I felt.
Approximately six monthes later, my mom lost her job. In two weeks, we had to move again because our house was being foreclosed, because my motheer could not pay thee rent. Since my mom was out of a job, and we had no money, we moved into my mom's friend's house in McKinney. I still went to my middle school in Allen, and because my mom could not afford gas, we signed up for a special bus to come and get Haleigh and I and take us to school. Brandy had her own car and job at the time and was able to pay for her own gas.
After two monthes and my mom's hard work paying off, she was in a job again and bought an apartment back in Allen. We moved in there. By that time it was March 2010. Before we moved, I received a call from my dad. He knew theat my mother was having a hard time, and he wanted me to come live with him and his girlfriend, Carrie. Carrie was about to buy a house, and it was in Dallas.
Being kicked out of one house and living in a friend's house really changes your perspective on life. You appreciate thee small things more. I was beginning to get depressed theat we were so poor, so I said yes. In the summer of 2010 Haleigh and I moved in withe my dad and Carrie in Dallas.
I really didn't want to leave my mom, because we had grown a better relationship over the past two years. I knew that it would break her heart, because it easily broke mine. The only reason I went was because she could barely afford herself, much less three kids. Brandy stayed, and Haleigh and I went. I vowed to live withe her again once she had gotten back on her feet.
Now I am still in the Dallas house with my dad and Carrie. Girlfriend has changed to wife, and my mom is trying, really trying to get back on her feet. She is going back to school, so she can become a very respectable RN Nurse. I miss my friends. It took almost nine years to build up relationships with my friends in Allen, and now I have to start anew right before high school.
I still want to keep that promise theat I made to myself, but I don't know if she can finance everyone in time, before I move out and go to college.

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