That Night

January 13, 2012
By Anonymous

I met him at a retreat for my church's youth group. He was tall and funny and certainly the most attractive one there. At first I thought he would just ignore me like every other male on the planet, but he was friendly and sweet and he made excuses to stand next to me. I was flattered and fluster and all kinds of excited, and when he asked me out, I said yes in a heartbeat.

I was never allowed to date, so we would meet at youth group and hide in the empty halls to share kisses and whispers. I wasn't looking to have a scandalous church romance. I only seeked the affection of another human being, affection that he seemed more than willing to provide.

That night we were in that dim church hall as usual, but his eyes were strange and different. We were sitting against the outer wall and my plain black sweater was catching on the brick. "I'm thirsty," I said, rubbing my throat.

"Lets get water then," he replied. He stood and pulled my to my feet. Upright, we were close and i could only describe that look in his eyes as hungry. I blinked, smoothed out my skirt, and turned. We walked to the fountain where he held my hair as i bent and took a sip, but when I stood up strait, he didn't let go.

"What are you doing?" he pulled me to the wall  by my hair. My heart started racing and fear began to trickle through my veins. He pressed himself against me and started kissing me violently. I felt hands all over me, groping and tugging to remove my clothes. "No! Stop!"

I screamed as I tried to hit him, to push him away, anything to get as far from him as possible. He seized my hands with one of his and pinned them to the wall above my head. The other lifted my skirt. Hysteria filled me "Stop stop please stop STOP!" I was sobbing now.

His free hand shot to mouth to stifle my cries. There was nothing I could do. I couldn't move. I couldn't think. I could barely breath. So I just cried and went limp against the wall. It felt like hours. How could this happen to me? I thought he loved me. I thought he respected me. And there he was stripping away my purity and my goodness and my sanity.

I wanted so badly to fight back, but I was too small. I wanted so badly to escape his grip, but I was too weak. I wanted so badly to just think clearly, but I was too shattered. In a matter of seconds he had reduced me to ruins.

And then, suddenly, it was over. He zipped up and looked at me with a look of content before he leaned in and kissed my cheek. I flinched at the sinisterly gentle touch. "I love you," he whispered in my ear, and then he left as I lay in a crumpled heap by the water fountain with my sweater catching on the brick.

The author's comments:
This happened when I was a freshman and it's dramatically changed who I am. I am a junior now, and I hope that sharing my story will help me come to terms with what happened. I was inspired by another article on teenink about her rape experience.

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This article has 1 comment.

sleepy.eyes said...
on Feb. 4 2012 at 11:19 am
Wow. This is well written and it must have been a terrible experience. Did you tell anyone what happened?


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