Me in 50 Years

December 15, 2011
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In 50 years I picture myself being wrinkly like a dry shriveled up prune, as most people are when they get older. I hope to be married and have a few children of my own and hopefully they will have given me a few grandkids. When my grandkids come to visit my they will be so excited, because I will let them jangle my arm fat like my great grandma used to let Karlie and I do. I bet that they will be amused at how my skin can stretch and then just get suctioned right back up like it never went anywhere. I am going to be the very best grandma.

By the time I am 67 years old I hope that I haven’t lost all of my teeth. I floss and brush my teeth for at least 5 minutes every night. If I keep this habit up and I’m sure that I will not need dentures. If somehow I do need dentures they will be shiny like a baby’s bottom. The denture glue will be tolerable. I will have special glue that smells of toothpaste.

I will be the funniest little old lady. I enjoy thinking that I am funny now, I always crack myself up, and so I could just imagine 50 years from now. For example the other day I was sitting in my room, I was bored and there was a Q-tip next to me. I stuck the Q-tip in my belly button and Zach drew a face on my tummy with a pen. I thought that was the funniest thing ever because we were making my belly talk and it looked like my belly button was smoking a cigar. When I grow old I think I will be around 5’ tall because I am 5’ 3 “now and I hear people shrink when they get older. For one thing my grandma used to be the same height I am now and she has shrunk to be about 4’ something. I have to admit I am kind of scared of shrinking because I am already pretty short and sometimes I can’t see over the steering wheel when I drive, so I’m hoping I don’t see a booster seat in the future.

My house when I get old will smell like a bakery that makes nothing but chocolate chip cookies. I will bake all the time for something to do. This is of course later after I retire from being a vet assistant. My house will always be shiny clean. So clean in fact you will be able to see your reflection on the countertops, and you could eat dinner on the toilet seat lid. Everyone who enters will have good hygiene because I don’t want someone with B.O. to sit on my couch and then leave their smell wafting on the furniture.

Since my eyes aren’t the best now I will of course have glasses, a plain pair for everyday use, and a very colorful pair for reading with. I will not be a flashy old woman I will wear normal clothes, and I will stick with my jeans, and T- shirts only dressing up when it is necessary. My hair will be gray but if I get up the nerve to dye my hair I will certainly make it brown like my hair is now.

When you pull into the driveway of my house you will hear laughter, the TV, cow’s moo-ing in the pasture, and kids running around playing, and don’t forget the smell of cookies. Altogether my home will be cozy, warm, and a great experience. This is exactly how I picture myself to be in 50 years.

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