My Story

December 30, 2011
By ChibiOfEvil8 SILVER, San Marcos, California
ChibiOfEvil8 SILVER, San Marcos, California
6 articles 0 photos 0 comments

Favorite Quote:
I have waaaaaay too many, actually...Hehe

I am 13, in the eighth grade, and I receive relatively good grades. I am 5’ 9” and I have blonde hair blue eyes. That makes me perfect, right? Apparently not when you weigh 168 pounds and have no eyelashes. People don’t put me in the category “beautiful” because I am not what they call “perfect”.

They expect me to, every day, go to McDonalds and gorge myself on the food they sell there. They expect me to hate exercise, constantly shove food into my mouth, and some other weird activities. They don’t expect me to be “normal” or anything like that. It kind of annoys me.

They label me as fat, ugly, and stupid because I am not like what Celebrities are seen as. 100 pounds, perfect complexion, long eyelashes, or in what people call them “beautiful”. They expect me to have no standards what so ever. When I’m out shopping, people give me looks. Is it because I do not look like what they expect me to look like?

A few weeks ago at the mall, I was sitting on a bench waiting for a few of my friends to come back from buying their lunch. One of my friends gave me a frozen yogurt as a snack because I didn’t want to go with them. I was eating the frozen yogurt, which looked a lot like ice cream, when a girl walked up to me. She was really pretty, with her makeup done and her brown hair curled perfectly. Then she spoke. “ How is your ice cream going? Hmmmn? Do you like to eat that every day? Is that all you eat?” She sputtered insults at me, calling me “fat” and “ugly”. Then she had the audacity to ask what life was for a fat girl, and if I enjoyed it. She also said some rather nasty things as well. I was just staring at her, wondering if this was actually happening. People around us were watching, and I wondered if any of them would stand up to me. A minute later, nobody did. I don’t remember what I replied to the girl, but it made her glare at me with such hatred I didn’t know somebody could have. It was towards me, too, a completely random stranger. I didn’t even insult her or anything! My friends came back by then and once they heard the girl say some things to me, they stood up for me. She went off after that. I still can’t believe that actually happened. I’m shocked, to be honest.

I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by now. Years of being ridiculed for not being pretty does that to somebody. Everyday at school. They always say the most unbelievable things. I am a fellow human being, yet in their eyes, I’m comparable to trash.

“Oh, you going to eat McDonalds after school?”

“Hey, are you pregnant? You’re so fat.”

“How much more ugly can you get? Probably not anymore. I’m sure you’re the fattest and ugliest person at this school.”

“Did you pluck your eyelashes off because you’re so fat? Or did you eat them?”

A million of rude comments and insults get nobody anywhere. I’m not quite sure what they think of themselves or how they want me to react. I probably just piss them off by replying with something witty and walking off. I don’t let them bother me.

Well, I suppose I’ll let you guys in on a secret. Why is little (or should I say big?) ol' me overweight? Why does she have no eyelashes? What’s her story?

First off, I was born without eyelashes. However, this year, my eyelashes have slowly started to grow in. Very slowly, but I am getting eyelashes. Now onto why am I fat? For years, I have been the mature one. I’ve had to deal with addictions to drugs and alcohol, not on my part but my friend’s part. I’ve had to also deal with suicide attempts my friends made, and family issues. I always had something trying to drown me in despair, even when I was only in fifth grade. It was pretty crazy. Then, I sort of got depression. I mean “sort of” because I didn’t go to any doctors or anything. I bottled it up and put on a smile. That made everything worse. To get through my problems, I did foolish things. It lead to me gaining weight. Nothing spectacular or anything, but I gained a lot of weight. There were more problems, but I wish not to discuss it. To this day, I am not as bad as I used to be. I can deal with my friend’s problems, but now the weight remains. I eat healthy and try to exercise, but people don’t expect that for me. I’ve lost about 20 pounds since last year, and I’m still labeled as a “fat cow”.

Personally, I believe I am quite beautiful in my own little way. Say whatever you want, society. Go ahead and come at me. I know I don’t fit most standards of “pretty”, but to my friends and me, I am pretty in my own way.

The author's comments:
I don't know...This was kind of random. I'm just sick of people not thinking about what their saying! The insults and rude comments they make may seem funny to them, but it can hurt people. I've had to help many of my friends regain their self confidence because people insulted them or something like that. It disgusts me to know people do this everyday.

Everything in this is true.

ooh, and I'm sorry there are some spelling and grammar mistakes, or if this seems a bit jambled. It was kind of a spur of the moment written peice.

Basically, to "fit in" and be "Pretty", I'd have to change everything about me. Ahaha, nooo...That isn't happening XD I like myself the way I am, thank you very much. Vocaloid, Anime, drawing, and my lack of eyelashes makes me...Well, me. Oh, and my weight D: Ergggggh.

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