Just For Tonight

December 6, 2011
By , Somewhere, NH
Just for tonight I'm going to pretend everything is ok.

Tonight I don't have any worries and not a single care in the world.

Tonight one of my best friends isn't in the suicidal ward of the hospital, she's going to arrive at my house any second for a sleepover and stay up watching movies and eating ice cream with me, I'll make her laugh and smile again.

Tonight the boy I love will love me again, we won't have fallen apart and he won't have broken my heart into teeny little pieces, we'll be back to how we were this summer, unbreakable and perfect.

Tonight I will be beautiful. I will tall and skinny with a perfect smile and beach-blond hair and everyone will want me.

Tonight my family will be perfect, we won't yell at each other or refuse to talk or play our stupid games where we act like we really care about each other but in reality we don't.

Tonight one of my best friends isn't living out of state, she's living right next door to me, where she belongs.

Tonight my cousin and I never had that fight before she left for college, we're still like sisters and she'll give me a call anytime.

Tonight that boy from down the street will stop by and show me his new girlfriend, I never broke his heart and he never lost his reason to live.

Tonight my brother isn't looking at porn but in the living room reading comic books like we did when we were little.

Tonight my sister isn't looking to get wasted so she can forget about the world, and I didn't ask her to take me with her so I forget everything too.

Tonight my friend didn't get kicked out of his house, he's doing just fine and his parents love him to death.

Tonight my best friend's little sister isn't cutting herself because of that boy, she's giggling and painting her nails hot pink.

Tonight that girl I met today isn't pregnant.

Tonight that boy I grew up with, the one who called me names and pulled my hair, isn't living in a trailer outside of town with his girlfriend, and he finished highschool, and I expect he'll go pretty far, since I always knew he was smart.

Tonight the boy I love, who broke my heart, isn't staying up late worrying about all the things he's done wrong and not having enough money to go to college, he's planning on how he'll say sorry to me and ask me out again.

Tonight my grandparents aren't dead, they're just sleeping in the room down the hall.

Tonight I don't have homework but I do have perfect grades.

Tonight nobody told me all the things I did wrong but all the things I did right.

Tonight my dad isn't drunk and my mom is home, they're watching tv and laughing.

Tonight my best friend's parents aren't divorced but living together happily, they never take their anger out on her and just expect her to deal with it.

Tonight everything is perfect.

But tonight won't last forever.

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