Public Restrooms

December 2, 2011
Did you ever notice the awkward situations that occur in public bathrooms? The saying of “If walls can talk” can really apply to this. Now imagine the bathroom walls at my school.

First of all, why do they call it a bathroom, restroom, or washroom? Are you always taking a bath whenever you go in there? Who actually goes in there to rest? I know half the time; I am never bathing or resting when I enter that room. We should call it what it really is, the toilet room. Anyways, let’s start with the noises we hear in bathrooms while in school. When we are sitting in the stall on a toilet, someone always end up walking in. Since we are in school, we always want to eavesdrop to see if it is one of our friends (because, this is one of the classiest places to run into each other, right?). You begin by peeking through the stall cracks, and when that fails you start to gently lean over while still sitting on the toilet with your pants half down and nearly fall over trying to connect their shoes to yours friend’s shoes. As if your friend is the only person who owns a pair of black moccasins’. By the time you figure out who it is, it ends up being that random person that you know nothing about but always see in the halls. Since you guys see each other so often, you feel obliged to start a conversation about absolutely nothing, such as “So what class are you in?” as if that is so fascinating. If they actually liked that class, they would be in there right now without stalling here in the bathroom. What about the times when you are sitting in the stall and someone walks in and begins talking. They say something like, “What period do you have next?” without thinking you blurt out, “Math!” with such exaggeration as if you really want to be there. After you just hear them say “Okay, see you soon, got to go.” And their phone goes click. You know an awkward moment is then proceeding by time you exit the stall. They look at you as if you are from the 1800’s and do not know what technology is. Even worse, what about when you are about to do your duty and someone walks in talking on their phone? You always feel like you have such an oversized bladder that you urinate extra long than normal. After your done, you think to yourself, “Oh my gosh, I just peed for 3 minutes straight.” when it was really only 30 seconds. Everything always feels so much longer and louder in public bathrooms. What about when you have to fart? You never have any privacy. There is usually someone always on their phone or that one person who tiptoed in as if wanting to catch you doing something embarrassing. The next day the talk around school is, “Karen farted in the bathroom, can you believe that!” the bathroom is such a random place to fart right?

Did you ever notice the appearance of public bathrooms? Everything is always dirty. Especially our school restrooms, there is always food around the sinks. Who on earth would want to eat in a restroom? The floors and counters are also always wet. It makes you think, did a shaggy dog come in after getting a bath and start shaking all over the bathroom? Also, notice the graffiti written all over the stalls and walls. It is never just written either, it is carved. Who gets angry enough in a bathroom to start carving their name? Did you ever notice the mirror in the girl’s bathroom next to the cafeteria? Someone carved “Scott” into it. I do not know if it is their boyfriend or ex-boyfriend, but I surely would not want my name carved into a men’s bathroom.

Out of all of these scenarios; which ones have you experienced? You may not have noticed it by yourself, but do you agree with them now if you really think about it? Public restroom walls would be screaming and really gossiping if they could only talk.

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