Still on the Upswing

November 7, 2011
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Until this year, my life was neither easy nor fun. I had some of the lowest grades in my school career. It started in 6th grade, but got progressively worse until the 8th grade. I started getting lower and lower grades until I was getting Cs, Ds, and Fs at the end of the marking period. I didn't know why. I didn't know how. I started not believing in myself and the cycle began. One marking period after another, one year after another, I failed because I couldn't bring myself to think I was any good. I started contemplating dropping out, but stayed in for the sake of my mom. She means the world to me and I know how she would feel if her son dropped out.

In 8th grade, I felt there was nothing to do. I was going to get horrible grades in high school, I wouldnt be able to attend college, and I would begin a life as a minimum wage worker in some factory. But then my mom shared with me her years in school as a child. She said that she had checked out because no one was there to help her. She had no guidance, no mentor. But I did. I had her. I held onto these beliefs and advice until the end of summer, when I disregarded them. I started school with a frown, thinking I wouldn't get anything higher than a B. I participated in class, did my homework, and checked my grades everyday. I doubted myself until my 6th week of high school. Half way through a trimester and I still had all As. How did this happen? Was there a mistake? There was no mistake.

At that moment, I realized something. Your story is never over until you kick the bucket. There is absolutely no chance that you won't change within your life. You will keep growing into te character you are as an adult, and will keep developing your personality until you're old and grety. I thought to myself, this means I'm just on the upswing. It had been a quick start to swing my foot, but I wasn't using my force to lunge at it. I wasn't trying to anymore. I sat there in awe, thinking about what feelings I had developed for school, grades, and life as a whole.

The next week, I was in school with a smile on my face. I knew it, my teachers knew it, and my friends saw a new glow in my eyes. I felt like more of a person and less of a robot. I really wsh all of the people that drop out of school would have the same realization as I did. You just have to remember that your life is never done changing until you kick that bucket.

This I believe.

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