Fading

October 8, 2011
The first time I seen him I already felt a twinge of regret. I had a gut feeling about talking to him and getting to know him. I only wished I would have listened to that feeling. Now I find myself still hung on him. He still has me twisted around his finger and he doesn’t even realize it. We haven’t talked in months, but I still think about him almost everyday. It hurts more when I dream about him, because I know that he can’t want me back.

…It was December 25, 2010 and I was going to the skate park. He was wearing a bright red shirt and we both had roller blades on. I remember it so well because this is the day we met. He had a friend that roller bladed clumsily and carefully. His friend made me look like a great skater. He was the one with the talent. He wasn’t careful about skating nor was he clumsy in the slightest. We didn’t get to talk a lot at first until his awkward friend went home. Then we had a little mindless chit chat and I couldn’t stop looking at his smile. His eyes had a reckless glint in them that I fell in love with instantly…

I get frustrated when I think about him, I’m frustrated now. He was an amazing guy. And as much as it pains me I would rather have been hurt by knowing him then never of met him at all. He’s just that kind of person who gave me more then I ever asked for, but he’s also the kind of person who took everything he gave and left me with only shattered veins as the only remains.





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