today I thought about the fact that my life is so small that I have a bad habit of focusing on really small, unimportant things. is my life so empty that nothing else occupies my time?
I need to do something with myself. I’m not doing anything productive with myself.
there’s a way for me to dedicate my time to something that matters. like writing or filming s*** or just… whatever. something that will take up my time.
I can’t remember when I stopped writing.
or maybe I guess I should say I can’t remember when I was consistently writing.
when was the last time I discussed something deep and important? When was the last time I took my head out of my ass for five minutes and contributed my time to something that mattered?
I’m not a bad person, I’m just not doing things I should be. it’s not even that I’m a not-bad person doing not-good things. that’s correct, to an extent, but I’m not doing bad things.
not in my eyes, anyway.
really though. when was the last time I spent energy on something outside myself? I can’t remember. my thoughts are so utterly free of anything of relevance, it makes me sad.
get off tumblr, get off facebook. those things do not matter. stop thinking about people who aren’t important to you. stop wasting your time on things that will not make you a better person. take some time to develop who you are.
my life just feels empty and meaningless right now. and that’s not a fun feeling, when you finally recognize it.
do something with your time. don’t become a waste of space. you’re not meaningless; you may have been, if you hadn’t caught yourself in time. but you’re still young enough to change the things you don’t like. you still have power. don’t waste it or squander it away on things that don’t matter.
you have so much potential to be such a great person. you know that. embrace that. don’t screw up, you big dummy. you have such a future, my dear.