Sometimes when I feel so alone, so alone and lost and utterly confused… I think. Just… think. I drift off to a place deep in my mind… some place that’s far away from everything and anything. It’s a place where tears fall. It’s a place where I vent, let out my feelings and pour them into the world like rain from the sky. It’s a place where everything is quiet, except everything’s so loud. It’s dark as night and light as day. It’s peaceful and chaotic and happy and sad and nothings ever right. My feelings bounce off the wall and hit me again and again until I’m pounded into the ground so far that I might never be able to get again. It’s all so confusing, but I understand everything as clear as day. I understand that I’m different and that I can do anything I want but I can’t because they won’t let me. I understand that things can be perfect one second and perfectly miserable the next but it doesn’t matter because the world keeps spinning and time keeps going and I can’t stop it no matter what I do. I understand things aren’t exactly the way I planned but who cares anyway? Who cares if everything that could go wrong does go wrong, but only to me? Who even cares if I’m hurt or upset or depressed? Who cares if I feel like crying every single second of the day but I just hide it under a big goofy smile? Does anyone see things the way I see them? Does anyone ever feel like tearing the world apart for no particular reason? Does anybody… anyone… everyone… somebody… understand me?
Nobody But Me
September 7, 2011