How to Fit in in NYC

July 27, 2011
When you travel to the Big Apple, you'll see that it is an ethnic pot. Not only that, but you'll also see people of very young ages whom don't look as young as they should look; they're the ones wearing the see through shirts and lace bandeau's underneath. There will also be very old people whom don't look as old as they should look; they're the ones wearing piled on Sephora make up arranged by the Union Square 5th avenue prestige stylers. New York City isn't what it seems. In fact, you'll find that it is not at all what you judged through the movies, it is better.

You might not know who to hang out with when you arrive. You'll see people with the high wasted ripped jean shorts, the crop top, the vintage necklace and the combat boots; those are the hipsters. If you like to shop at Buffalo Exchange and other vintage boutiques, get to know them. I will tell you one thing; get used to neck cramps! Hipsters (most of them) carry huge nikon, olympus or canon cameras around their neck to capture every photo they find "artistic." For example, a pigeon pecking at a trash may suddenly look beautiful and I guarantee, the flash will go off. FInally, if you like to "smoke up," and flaunt your unreasonably priced pack of cigarettes, hipsters are the right group for you.

Now, if hipsters hate something more than anything in the world, it's the upper east side prep kids. These are the ones that you'll find strolling in Central Park for fun, or taking limos four blocks away just to get to Starbucks. You will walk past them and choke on their Ralph Lauren cologne and perfume and suddenly you'll just know, "Prep." If you're into surfing, please sit with the prep kids at lunch. And when you do, please come back and tell me where exactly they surf, because I guarantee there is nowhere in this city where you can. After a while, you'll either feel right at home with them. However, unless you own at least two Hampton's houses, or play lacrosse, good luck.

At the Trash and Vaudeville shop on St. Marks downtown, you'll find a lot of what we'd call; goth. This store is the center for the people who like the fully laced thigh high combat boots, the striped black and white tights, the corsets which they believe to be fashionable and the abnormal yet apparently stylish faerie wings. You might go up to them and say, "Hey, do you know where the coal black eye liner is?" They'll either stare at you and smirk or give you directions with the most complex and pessimistic words. At that point, you will either realize that this is not you're clique or you will suddenly feel as though Trash and Vaudeville is the place for you.

You'll be strolling down the street, or waiting on a corner to cross the road, when swoosh, some asshole bmx biker or skateboarder will literally slide only inches away from your toes. These guys are generally going towards Washington Square Park; the center for the "pot-heads" and the "crackies." You'll find that what most of them do is quite entertaining, such as painting and drawing. Certainly it's beautiful, but there's only one problem. It's on our building's walls, everywhere around the city. That's right, it's graffiti and it has their names all over it. You'll find that a lot of these guys are incredibly conceited, and basically pose for the ridiculous hipsters that come over with their fish eye lenses in order to post it on Facebook.

Sometimes you'll walk by teenagers with the boom boxes in their hands. Along with them, there will usually be a group of girls whom you will easily identify because of the big hoop earrings, the skin tight jeans and the tight shirt that tends to show off a little bit more of skin then the average person would prefer. These guys and girls will probably be fist pumping and shaking body parts that shouldn't be shaken to the music being blasted in public from these boxes.

The Big Apple is an ethnic pot. What you thought you knew from the movies isn't quite the same anymore, is it?

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