“Hi Dad!” I said when I got on the phone.
His response was a solemn sounding, “Hey buddy…” I could tell that he was upset about something, but had no idea what was wrong. Little did I know that this phone call would affect my life forever.
When I was little, I didn’t understand what it meant when my Dad lost his job. I didn’t know why my parents didn’t live together or weren’t married. I just thought that everything was fine. My Dad was never like a real Dad. He never was mad and always fun, when he was around. I saw him every other weekend, but sometimes I wouldn’t see him for months at a time. I knew that he cared about me, and didn’t understand why I couldn’t be with him all the time. Then suddenly he was just, gone.
It had been a good day when I received the phone call. I was in the first grade at a new school. I lived with my Mom and Step-dad Nick. On that day my Dad called me after school. He didn’t tell my Mom what he wanted to talk about, but he insisted that he talk to me. When I took the phone and heard his voice, a grin stretched across my face. I rarely talked to him and when I did I loved every second of it. But this time was different.
“What’s up?” I asked him when I got on the phone.
He answered in a slightly regretful and upset tone, “I’m going to be moving again.”
“Where?” I asked. I was used to him moving around but he never said anything about it, so I was curious. The next words that he said would haunt my memory forever.
“I’m moving… to Tennessee.” At first I didn’t understand why he was so upset, and then I remembered how far away that was, and realized how rarely I would see him.
I started to sniffle but with all of my might held back the tears that were building up inside. He told me “It’s ok, everything will be alright.” But I knew he was lying, nothing would be alright. He was lying again, like he had so many times before, just to make me feel better, but nothing he could say would make me feel better. Then I asked why. He told me that he found a job there and that was where his girlfriend wanted to move to so she could be with her family.
Then I tried to ask, “what about his family?” But I couldn’t think straight so the words wouldn’t come out of my mouth. It felt like the world was crashing down on me and there was nothing I could do about it. There was no way to convince him otherwise. His mind was made up and he was going to move.
I guess that he not being around very often before he moved helped me after he moved and I only saw him once or twice a year. There was a point when I went over a year without even talking to him. When I was younger I couldn’t even talk about him without bursting into tears, but I became to him not being there for me or not knowing anything at all about me. I got used to the total disconnection from his life. Whatever happened though, I had to just keep going always hoping that things would get better, no matter how bad it would get.
Life can throw so many terrible things at you, but you just have to deal with it and keep going. No matter how bad it gets, you just have to keep your chin up and pray that things will get better.