Lessons learned from falling

They think they know every detail in my life. Every mistake I made, every guy I dated, every time I messed up. They don’t know the truth. They only know bits and pieces of the truth.They take what they hear and somehow manage to put the pieces together like a puzzle and create a whole new picture.

Right now my life is hectic.I am the target everyone wants to stab with an arrow over and over again until I shred into a million pieces and fall to the ground hopelessly. Ever since I first stepped foot into this dumb place, everything changed. I thought it would be a good change. A chance to start fresh, make new friends, and maybe even become more popular. I should of known from the beginning that I would never be at the top of the chain. After all, I have always been the victim of the hatred. Never the criminal.
I Only wanted to fit in. Nobody would except me as me. I was the loner who sat in the back of the classroom staring down at the textbook, while everyone else laughed and had a great time. I couldn't bear this judgement much longer. I wanted to fit in, so I thought that by changing, it would make me more popular. It made me popular all right. Just not in the right way.

It started off with me sneaking out past curfew. Just one time wouldn't hurt. Who knew that one time would turn into a thousand times. I found myself sneaking out every night, and running from the cops. Everything seemed so much different at night then what it is during the day. Sneaking out was the least of my worries.
I have gone wild. I lost control of myself. I found myself entering a whole new world of alchohol and drugs. I followed the crowd of druggies who seemed to be the only ones who excepted me. It's sad to see how judgment can influence a person so badly. I fell deeper into the hole each and every day, soon to the point where i was stuck in it. I Couldn't dig myself out.
I was trapped. NOt only that but I got kicked out of the gang I was involved in. Weapons, drugs, alcohol, and fights were my life. I felt welcome for once, and now that I'm kicked out, I don't know where I belong anymore. I was a great person, a great christian, until I moved here and nobody excepted me.
Now that I think back, I relize how drastically I changed. I learned a great life lesson throughout this whole expierience, Be yourself, or fall deep. Thats my life motto. I also learned to except others as they are. I relized how much judgement can affect a person and I don't want to be the cause of the affect. Through this hole thing, I also got to know myself better. It took a long time to heal, and I still am healing from this. It took me a lot of courage, strength, support, and lots of counseling to get my life back on track. Even now, I'm still trying to recover form my past injury. The injury of falling deep in the worng direction.





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