Grandma .We walk in to the funeral home; if it we weren’t here for this reason I would have thought that it was pretty. The floral wallpaper and soft lights almost like they were trying to comfort me for her being gone. As soon as we walked in the scent of the flowers hit me. They were everywhere. I knew my grandma was well known but this? There were 20 sprays I later found out, to many to take to her grave. We had 3 rooms full of flowers and pictures. I walked in peeked in one of the rooms and froze. There she was. Grandma. Wearing the same baby blue suit she wore to my uncles wedding. Tears welled in my eyes and blurred my vision. I couldn’t go in yet. I went and stood by my cousin tears slowly cast tracks down our cheeks. ‘Why did I even wear mascara’ I thought to myself trying to keep my mind from the vision burned in my mind. Grandma. I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder “You ready?” my Dad asked I just nodded before I could say no. we went in and stood in the line of the immediate family. I kept my eyes down trying not to look at Grandma. Grandma. Then it was our turn and all too soon. My family of six gathered around the coffin. Aidan only 4 didn’t understand which made it worse. Finally I looked at her. And almost broke down. There she lay on the soft white sheets eyes closed wearing all her normal jewelry the necklace with all the charms from the grandkids, her claddagh earrings. She wore her two gold bracelets. And she had what looked like a small smile on the face. It looked like at any moment she would jump up and say ‘Ha got you I’m still alive and secretly I wished she would. “ let’s pray” I heard my dad whisper but I didn’t move my eyes were locked on grandma, now that I was right there I couldn’t look away. I knew if I opened my mouth to speak I would start bawling and yelling her name. Grandma. Finally they all got up and I hurried in to the adjoining room and went straight for the tissues. I felt empty and hollow inside. My dad came to sit next to me and I leaned against him as he patted my hair and I cried. Grandma “ I miss her” I said he whispered back “I know lady Kate I know”. I thought ‘wait your not the one I usually go to first. Wait, I know where she is she’s laying there in that coffin.’ That made me cry harder “Here Kate” my dad said handing me a glass of water “drink this then go in the bathroom and fix yourself up. You don’t have to go in there right now.” So I did and as I stared at the mirror I knew. Grandma. That this was going to be a long week. That night I couldn't help thinking please Grandma come back from the beach.
Grandma I Mss You
May 5, 2011