This Room

May 2, 2011
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This small confined room where they want me to think of as a safe haven has now turned cold. The room where I should express my feelings has now gone silent. Well that’s how they explain it anyway….

To me this room is a prison this room seems safe it almost seems profound but I know it’s only a façade. To me this room is horribly frightening.

As I sit here with my so called “Friend” the thoughts race through my mind. Almost abruptly I break the silence with words of power with an attitude that says I cannot be controlled. I can be tamed but never controlled. I am not a child I am not a child, I am not 7. That smile that breaks for everything does not work anymore. The comforting tone with that calm voice in everything just aggravates me. I am not a child, I am a teenager and I will be treated as such. By that I mean I don’t like it when she uses a smile in something stupid there is no point in that it’s practically unessential. I will be treated like a regular teenager not a child who needs comforting! I hate it when she talks to me about virtues, I already know them! I am a teenager get with it or get out. I am a soldier and I will continue to fight until the war is won. I will fight until I win the right for my voice to be heard, I will fight until I get equal rights, and I will fight until I win everything I believe in.

I have never thought of this place as a second home, I have never thought of her as my “friend” I have emotions just like everyone else but the meaning to my words and beliefs are beyond reach. I have so many sides and faces I am like a Rubik’s cube. So many people try to figure me out few people do.

These walls can’t hold me forever and I will not stop fighting until the war of faith and beliefs is won. I show no fear or emotions. I try and stay calm and collected but I know I am going up against something bigger than me. But if I give up what will I be able to show for myself?

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