I am not smart. There it’s out there, in this crazy paper filled world. People are obsessed with the idea of being smart. Which isn’t bad per se, but when it’s coupled with the idea of never working, it becomes awful.
The TV world seems to worship the idea. There are soo many TV shows revolving around high school, and the drama it apparently holds. The majority of these shows usually contain students who barely attend school and spend most of the time out drinking and partying. These role models then wake up to go take some test which they always do exceedingly well on. I’m skeptical about that though. Don’t get me wrong, I support the idea of staying up late on school nights, summer nights, whenever- bed time should be called dawn time. Perhaps I’m too much of a nerd, but when I stay up late on school nights, 86% of the time it’s to finish homework; but to stay up partying and to have such a strong disinterest in school, yet easily succeeding is just so rare. It’s too much like Haley’s Comet- it happens once in a long time.
The likelihood that it happens in advanced classes is significantly less, which the students on these TV shows are always in, because it showcases how super duper smart they are. Taking more advance classes doesn’t make someone better than another; they’re not secret societies. However they are usually harder and need some sort of effort; effort that is never displayed. And yes, no one would watch a 45 minute TV show that is just someone studying, but an offhand mention would not be so bad.
I suppose the reason I take it so seriously, which I shouldn’t , considering the topic of these shows, is that my experience is so different, which I mentioned. For me to do well in a class, I have to devote myself to it and denote time to it.
I, like so many others, am only human, which means that unfortunately I get distracted with other things. Like Facebook. I’ll visit one page, and then be linked somewhere else, and that will take me elsewhere and so on. The Internet experience is the equivalent of being blindfolded and riding whichever bus picks you up- you don’t know where you are or how you got there or even what time it is. Luckily that sense that you have things more important to work on is still gnawing at the back of your head, so that’s reassuring.
Distractions aren’t the only thing in the way. Often things take longer than I expect them too. A few weeks ago, I was studying for a math test, and I expected it to take two hours maximum. I studied for about twice as long. I thought I understood the core concepts, but due to the very large differences between my answer and the “correct” ones, I had to spend more time on it, leaving less time for my other classes.
But I still studied after those two hours; just like after I surfed the internet, I went to work on my homework. Even though it was a harder choice, since giving up is always easier, I went through with it. And it’s because I’m devoted to my classes. Even though I may not always work with my heart and soul, there’s always some effort put into it. That’s why I took the classes, not just because colleges like to see that you’ve been taking “difficult” classes and have conquered high school as if you’re some modern Julius Caesar, but because I know if I take them then I’ll have to work. It may not seem like a big distinction, but the challenging part is still there. It’s a personal decision made for myself. It’s not meant to impress anyone else.
The most apparent way I show devotion is the time commitment. I’ve already mentioned that I like to plan the amount of time I set aside for each subject.
But that doesn’t matter because I’ll just push everything back and if that means I’ll stay up ‘till twelve, so be it. There are even times that I stay up past twelve and get two hours of sleep. I might go through the day with a throbbing headache, but I can handle a headache over not doing my homework. Often when I was younger going to class without my homework done was a constant feature in my nightmares. I know my time management is less than ideal, but I am a strange combination of a procrastinator and a worrier. Things don’t always work out perfectly, but I’m learning. There’s always time for that.
I’m not perfect when it comes to school, but that doesn’t mean I’m less of an honors student. I try and I always put effort in my work. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn’t; but that’s why I keep taking them. Sadly, I lack the ability to communicate with every honors student, past, present and future, but I know a few people who feel similarly; students who are inspired for the same reasons. It helps to know that what I’m doing is not so far out of touch.