April 15, 2011
By xLoveM3Notx BRONZE, Rock Island, Illinois
xLoveM3Notx BRONZE, Rock Island, Illinois
4 articles 0 photos 1 comment

Favorite Quote:
"The Causes of the event is usually more interesting then the event itself"

I took an archetypes test and I discovered i am a seeker, creator, and warrior. Through this

test I’ve leaned more about myself.

I believe I am a seeker because I look for deeper meaning, I have a sense of discovery,

and I avoid my problems by running from them or blocking them out.

I search for deeper meaning by exploring my religion by going to different churches of different

religion and stuff going on. It’s hard for me to accept one religion because of my sense of logic.

If it can’t be proven I don’t think it exists. Though lately I’ve been a little more open and

accepting I put my stubborn personality aside and give these things a fighting chance. I can’t say

if I can be completely converted but I DO know I’ll always be searching for something deep.

Something I can believe in. Something greater than words. Thats how I know this fits me, I’ll

always want deeper meaning.

I have a sense of Discovery because I love learning new things all the time. Like, history,

cultures, languages. I love to read, things like mysteries and love stories and drama and tragedies

just about anything that can have me on the edge of my seat and leave me with a dropped jaw at

the end. I enjoy the differences that come with learning about other cultures. It’s like “Wow they

do this that way and we do that this way. it’s amazing how some culture are only a sea away yet

it sounds as if they are planets away from me. Which was why its so exciting.

I do run away from my problems. I’m not proud, not at all but it’s me and it’s what I do.
Not saying it’s healthy or right but i handle things by ignoring them. Like when my mom died, I

pushed it away. I claimed not to miss her, or to feel sad, I said I didn’t care I moved on without

grieving. I never accepted that my mother was dead I pretended she was on vacation and was

returning later on. In my mind I was in such denial I spoke of her presently. Instead of say my

mom liked to play with our dogs I said my mom likes playing with our dogs. This is my mom

favorite food. Not: this was my mom favorite food. You get the point, but letting that denial build

up inside my heart, inside my body, hurt but I did want to let it out I didn’t want to break down

and be weak. Though finally I did break under the pain I cried and screamed and it felt like my

heart was being ripped out of my chest and I sounded like I was being murdered, and I was, part

of me died when my mother did. which ties into the deeper meaning, I’m not trying to replace the

spot where my mom was but I need to fill it with something. It hurts to be empty. But I get help

and I’m more open and I realize when you do have problems, you don’t always have to battle

them by yourself, your family and friends can be your army. I run from my problems, but now

only until i have the strength to fight them.

I am a warrior because I act like a protector, I fear weakness and powerlessness, and I can

become single minded.

I act like a protector because I can’t stand someone hurting or offending someone I love

or care about. I’ll get very defensive and to be honest sometimes I’ll get aggressive. It’s like... A

mama bear protecting her cubs, don’t mess with them and she won’t mess with you. That’s how I

am. In general I’m a nice person and I love to have fun and be social but you mess with my cubs

It’s on, I’ll ask questions later. and I’m like that because in some points of my life i had NO one

to protect me and i know how that can hurt and damage you. and i don’t want anyone i care

about go through that EVER so I step in and take the place of that mama bear.

I truly fear weakness and powerlessness. i like to be in control of my life and when I’m

not it disturbs me like anything bad can happen because I can’t control something. I like things to

go my way and I like to make plans and keep my plans steady and always on time. When my

plans are disturbed or postponed or even cancelled it really grinds my gears. but you know what

they say, Life is what goes on while you’re busy planning. so understand i can’t always be in

control. It’s just id like to be. So finally I’m saying I understand it as well as i fear it.

I become single minded when i truly believe in something and when people try to

disprove me i say “Nope thats not how it works, it goes like this and no other way so deal with

it.” I guess when it comes to some things i can actually become closed minded. I supposed i’ve

earned the name stubborn Sally. (my friends and family call me that). So all and all I realize my

stubbornness and what can i say? it’s what make me who i am.

Creator seems to word me the best. I am self aware of my identity, i fear inauthenticity

and failure, and I can become a workaholic.

I know who I am, i don’t have to second guess. I am creative, I’m bold yet I’m the one

who works behind the scenes. I’m funny but can be just as serious. I like school, I actually enjoy

homework especially the creative things like projects and reports, I’m a writer I love to write my

heart out and I’m lucky enough to already be published so early in life. I care so much so my

friends and family, in my eyes we are all related. I do have fears and I don’t like facing them but

it’s the only way I can move on. That’s me... That’s Chandra Alysea.

I fear, almost loathe inauthenticity and failure. I can’t stand when someone is fake. as in

fake i mean that they lie and betray and hurt and pretend to be someone just so they can get the

dirt on you or someone close to you. These days it’s so hard to find good friends, true friends.

It’s so bad that currently i don’t have too many friends and I’m not quick to look for any new

ones. Now failure is unacceptable, to me and my family. I hate disappointing my family, my

friends and most importantly myself. like if I fail a test that’s disappointing my family and

myself. If I can’t do something I promised a friend I would that disappoints my friend and

myself, and if I don’t meet a goal that I really wanted to that disappoints myself. I’m guessing

you notice that no matter, or whoever i disappoint, I disappoint myself and like I said, that is

unacceptable, it can’t happen. Inauthenticity and failure are least of my favorite words.

Sometimes I can be a bit of a workaholic. An example is my school work. I’m not doing

ANYTHING until my homework is complete. Even if i try to I can’t focus on anything else i try

to do. I also can’t leave anything unfinished. Like I can’t attempt to clean my room and go eat

dinner, no I have to finish my room 1st. I can’t mow half the lawn and go inside in rest, no I have

to finish it. Projects, got to do it. Once i start it has to get finish or I can’t rest until I do, that’s

how I am a workaholic.

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