Facebook sometimes makes me sad. I’m probably the first person to admit it, but this is how I truly feel. I’m not exactly the loner type, but certain circumstances, which I won’t go into lead to my being a loner. I have few friends and good ones too, but I don’t have a best friend or a circle of friends and sometimes I do get invited to parties and sleepovers, but it’s not like I have friends whom I love and trust and mainly depend on. Going on social network sites simply makes it worse. On sites like Facebook, where people share comments, wall posts and simply conversations in public, when their topic is about something I don’t know about (like a party I wasn’t invited to) and I don’t have a circle of friends like them and long for the fun they have, I feel like a loner. One of my friends told me the other day “Even if I have all the riches in the world, I only want friends.” The next two days she didn’t come to school. The next week, before I know it, she’s hanging out with a clique. I feel very lonely, certain times on Facebook, for this very reason. I wish I had a clique- of perfect pals who had the best of fun. Or even close, because nobody’s perfect. Nowadays I’m slowly starting to feel the way she does…Should I try to make new friends? Yes. Should I lose myself in trying to fit in? Certainly not. If there was just somewhere I fitted in, with people who loved me for me, I’d be the happiest person in the universe. Or should I start my own clique? I would if I was popular. Maybe next year, praying that everyone forgets this year, I wish I could try and get to know more people, have better conversations, think before making any decision, be the best I can be. Shine! This year is gone. I have no more hope left. But next year is a new opportunity. I’ll befriend new kids. Mingle with those who sit next to me. Talk to someone I never talked to. Open up my heart to those who need love. Be happy. As Alexander Graham Bell said “When one door close, another opens…”; Maybe I could enter the other door with the best in me.
A FISH OUT OF WATER
April 19, 2011