My Time Now

April 5, 2011
I am a weak, depressed, lost, little girl who is not capable of anything.
and I refuse to fly free and believe in the fact that
one day I will become of worth and somebody you will remember.

I imagine this comes across as a surprise to most, but
“I will never say never and I’ll fight forever for as long as I live”
is a total lie, and
“I give up.”
So when I am fifty years old I will tell my family
I was a failure at life and I hand them my hope that they can learn from my mistakes.
they’d understand I was sensitive and every snicker or stare was taken to heart.
I will have my theories and beliefs expressed to the world.
Having hate
is always more important than
Falling in love

I confess to you
Once upon a time,
I am not afraid to take a stand and hold my ground.
But this will not be come true in my era.

“My life is wasted, litter on a beach, wading the ocean, anticipating for its time to pass.”
Counselors compare my esteem to yeah, those fancy quotes, I guess they’re called
“Ignore all their words, their jealousy, their envy, be you, and all you long to become.”
Fortunately, I do not perceive my image that way.
My vision was flushed with how others conceive me; now unable to see who I really am.

It will be evident
In my last few breaths
I regret taking life so serious and yielding to face up to myself because of my peers.
In the end
Material possessions aren’t what rule the world, but courage to look past materials does.
I will make my point clear
It isn’t how many falls that break you down that’s important.
It’s how many times you pick yourself back up.
You should remain foolish to presume that there isn’t any hope.
Challenged to battle against all odds; all of this could’ve come true, if I hadn’t reversed it.


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