I miss it; The days when you would stick up for me when someone was mean, secretly drop a scoop of ice cream in my bowl when mom bought organic cereal, laugh at my cartoons with me even though you had better things to do, let me hangout with you and your friends, tell me I was the prettiest girl in the world...That all changed when you met her. Girlfriend over rules little sister I suppose, although it doesn't seem very fair. You abandoned me; left me to face fears that not long before were taken care of by you, ignore me when I wish to share important information, comment on every little mistake i make like a parent and not a friend, believe your too old and wise now to spend time with me, kinda feels like you've become the bully. I may have never been yours but well you were my best friend. I was here first; so why am i being treated like I'm last on your list of chores, the times when you are home it’s like i no longer exist in your eyes. I'M RIGHT HERE! LOOK AT ME! THE PERSON YOU HAVE FORGOTTEN ABOUT! SHES NOT GONE! COME BACK TO ME! I want to scream when i see you; jealousy bowls at tip of skull, anger about to burst at any moment. You just don't understand, and maybe it’s time for me to give up. One day things may be different. Sadly that day is not today. Why does age matter so much now when it never did back then? Our closeness as siblings is evaporating. Tears stream from my face but you won't change. You just lie and my dolt brain sucks it in like a sponge. Oh how I wish I could travel back in time; not have taken for granted all the fun times i had with you, missing my big brother. However even though I shouldn't; I still hope that deep down the brother i want and love is still there, and not gone forever.
March 25, 2011