Endless Roads

February 1, 2011
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“Malignant anaplastic oligodendroglima” I uttered, my voice breaking the tranquility of the early morning air.

At 2:00 AM most fourteen year olds are sound asleep in bed, and on any other night so would I. Instead, I put on my favorite, tattered sweatshirt, and my beat up pair of sneakers and walked.

I’ll just walk to the end of Linden…Time passed and my feet kept moving, beyond my original destination.

I’ll just walk to the old burned down house… It’s like my feet and my mind were fighting a war. I knew I should go home but I couldn’t stop.

I’ll just walk to my old bus stop… By the time I had reached the corner I had no intention of heading home. My face was puffy with tears still cascading down from my eyes, like a cloud during a thunderstorm.

After twenty minutes of endless walking, I reached the park. In the darkness, I could barely make out the bright red play equipment and the tiny baseball field. I lowered myself onto a lonesome swing and watched the grass blow calmly in the wind.

“Cancer” I sighed, hardly recognizing my own voice with such a foreign word escaping it.

“God… why did you have to do this? Why did you have to put this horrible disease inside my mom? I’m already sick, why did you have to go and make her suffer too?” I wanted to stop but my mouth has always had a mind of its own, “Tyler can’t handle this! You of all people should know how sensitive he really is! He doesn’t always show it, but he loves Mom just as much as I do!” Anger, rage, and anguish were all pouring out of me faster than I could process what I was saying, “But no, you take my mom, my rock, my best friend… and you change her. YOU HAVEN’T EVEN TAKEN HER FROM THIS EARTH YET AND IT’S LIKE SHE’S ALREADY GONE!” My voice started as a whisper and evolved into screaming.

Silence filled the air as I sat, trying to sift through my thoughts. I sat listening to the faint hum of all the insects nestling in the grass, for what seemed like hours. Finally, I realized home was calling for me, begging for my presence.

I began my journey home and soon wished that the roads would remain endless.





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