True Love Waits

January 18, 2011
By , East Quogue, NY
It is junior year in March and still freezing. The snow has just started to melt. I am a girl who faces the constant struggle to fit in and to feel wanted. At this point I had only kissed one boy and had even bought myself a purity ring in a local Bible store that says True Love Waits. A Friday night had arrived and I was invited to a party. As I straighten my hair in the mirror trying to look as best I can, I see my ring’s reflection sparkling back at me.
I arrive at the party and walk into the basement to find very unfamiliar faces and only a few people I knew. I say “hi” to the people I know, make some small talk, trying not to look awkward and uncomfortable. The music is loud, and everyone's having a fun time laughing and playing games. My eyes come across a strong, muscular, and attractive guy with light brown hair; a crew cut, innocent blue eyes, and lips that match his rosy cheeks. He is quiet. I don’t’ know his name, but I know I want him. I stare at him in awe. I finally work up enough courage to approach him, as we got to know each other I find myself sitting on his lap. Later, he ushers me into a bedroom, and as I gaze up at him, he smiles.
We stand facing each other. He shuts the door gently and turns out the lights. He is solely focused on me. As he softly kisses me he sends chills up my back. He asks, “What do you want to do?” I reply, “I don’t want to have sex.” He laughs as he locks the door so no one can come in and no one can get out. How could I be so naïve?
I tried denying that it even happened to me, that nothing was wrong, and I was still the same girl. All summer I wanted myself to forget about it. I pretended and lied to myself, convincing myself that I was still a young carefree girl, who was just as innocent as before. Finally, the school year began. One day as I sat in my forensics class, there was a class discussion about murder and rape. Suddenly, I felt as if everyone was staring at me, as if they knew what happened to me. I was just another statistic. I used to judge other girls in my situation, how could they be so dumb to have put themselves in such danger. Now that I have been through this, have walked in the victim’s shoes, I understand their hurt and desire for revenge. I will never truly forgive myself for going to that party or sitting on his lap, but I will be more careful and speak up.
It is senior year in October and it has just started to get a little cold and windy. The leaves and acorns have begun to fall. I’m still a girl who faces the constant struggle to fit in and to feel wanted. It’s a Friday night and I am going to work. At this point, hard work is more important than my social life. I’m trying to make the best decisions for myself. As I pull back my hair in the mirror trying to look as professional as I can, I no longer see my ring’s reflection.

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