To be forgiven I must first forgive. The more I hate them, the more reason I found to hate myself. I have a habit of taking on responsibility that I cannot handle, yet I blame my responsibilities after taking them on. I have no right to blame Rachel, the cats or other animals I care for. Just like my parents have no right to blame me for the adoption. All I can do is be strong- apologize, forgive, and most important to never forget. Just say goodbye when needed. Like right now. And this is where it starts.


I remember one of my days with my mom. We were at a mall, and she was doing what she usually does. She was telling me how s***** I was, and how much she never should've adopted me. I sat down on a bench and cried. Then I turned to an old lady, and asked “do you remember what it's like, being a teenager?” and she replied no. I had hoped she could give me advice, thinking that every child would go through that in their lives. My mom had told me that every mother tells her child they hate them. The ideas of her reality really were just her own world. Well, I know what not to do to my kids. It’s good to learn from other peoples mistakes. I’ve made too much of my own.