Two in the morning, I'm still up, I'm never up this late, early, I am not sure how you want to say that. I have papers to write, math to do, lines to memorize. My brain is on the fritz. My eyes will hardly stay open. This computer screen is not what I want to be looking at. I would rather be watching the back of my eye lids. But here I am. I need inspiration and at two in the morning that is not an easy thing to find. I could write about anything, anything in the world, but none of it seems right. I put stuff down on paper, I do it everyday, write all the time, but none of it is good enough. None of it is really moving, there's nothing truly great about any of my writings. I want to write something that sticks in the back of some ones mind forever. But I can't, nothing comes to me. I could write about my family... Parents work, little brother's annoying, no pets, three bedrooms one bathroom... Nothing great, my families not a very inspirational topic. What about happiness? People write about feelings and stuff all the time right? Bring me the sunshine in a cup... Yeah, that's no good. Happiness is almost too easy. Depression, thats a feeling, and its not too easy, but what is it? I don't know what I would say. I think I would have to be upset to write about depression... and I'm not. I could write about an animal. I love to horseback ride, bouncing around in the saddle, hair blowing in the wind, just you and the horse, one movement, feels like you're flying. You have all heard that before though right? What about little kids? I babysit, I could write about that. Hmmm... At the age of 1 they poop, eat, sleep, and cry. At the age of three they poop, eat, cry, and throw things around. At the age of 5 they poop, eat, cry, throw things around and make the littler kids cry. Yeah, thats not my best work, that might be because its now 212 in the morning and I am slowly losing all train of thought. I could try love, when in doubt write about love, but once again, I am not sure if I know what that feels like. It's kind of a mushy not exciting slow topic and I think if I start thinking not exciting, lax thoughts I am going to pass out. I have a boyfriend, I could write about him. He's cute, really cute, brown hair, brown eyes. He has the prettiest smile in the world and there's just certain things about him that I know no one else would ever notice. But why on earth would you want to hear about my perfect man? Knowing my luck you and your "significant other" just split the blanket and my writing there just ruined your day. I apologize if that was you. I am just not entirely sure where to go with this. I don't know why I am not in bed, why I didn't say "Hey, I will take the F if you just let me get some sleep." But no, I am an over achiever, I am a member of the above average alliance. So I have to be a good role model and get my stuff turned in on time so I am writing this paper on absolutely nothing. It's not a bad paper, there's just no point to it, and once again I have written something that no one will remember, no one is going to look back ten years from now and say "Hey, you remember that paper we read about nothing? I wish I could read it again." But maybe some people will get a good laugh the first time they read it and they will be able to move on in their lives no smarter than before. Maybe it will benefit some one. Maybe some one else has writer block and they have a paper due in a couple hours and they read this and go, man I could write a paper about nothing! I could drag it out so that its super long and just like this person did I could turn it in and get at least a B-. Yeah, I wouldn't suggest it. But look. it is 230 and I have finished a semi decent presentable paper to turn in, and its nothing great, nothing spectacular, but it is my thoughts and it is a writing so for now I am fine with that.
Two in the Morning
October 29, 2010